But then…
“Fuck,” I hiss when the soft brush of her lips tickles my collarbone.
My eyes fly open and I stare down at her hovering about me, her lips pressed to my skin and her eyes on mine.
“Show me,” she begs, her eyes glassy with emotion. “Let me see him.”
My heart races so hard, it thumps against my ribs akin to that of a tennis ball hitting a wall over and over.
“Angel,” I groan as she shifts, dropping her lips to the top of my longest scar.
“You don’t scare me, Nikolas. Nothing about you scares me.”
I’m pretty sure my heart stops beating altogether as she finally rips her eyes from mine, lowering her lips before kissing a line down my scar.
“Fuck,” I moan as she drags her tongue back up, and she doesn’t stop until her lips find mine. But she doesn’t kiss me. She just stares down into my eyes, her breath rushing out over me and making my mouth water for a taste of her.
“Where are we, Nikolas?”
It takes a few seconds for my brain to fire correctly to be able to form words.
“M-m-my g-grandparents’ place. M-my mum’s p-parents.”
“Where does everyone think I am? We are?”
“Y-y—” I suck in a breath, steeling myself for a beat. “They think your mum booked you a place out of town so you can focus.”
“How long are we going to be here for?”
“I don’t know, beautiful. Until I know it’s safe for you to be back. I fucking swear to you, I won’t do anything that will put you in danger. Ever.”
She nods in understanding, her nose brushing against mine.
“Where do they think you are?”
“Where do they ever think I am? Hiding. Sacrificing my soul to Satan.”
The pillow beneath my head shifts and she lifts up a little so she can look at me properly.
“They just want you to be a part of them, you know that, right?”
I shrug one shoulder. “I’m sure they’d barely notice if—”
“No,” she snaps forcefully. “You need to get this bullshit out of your head. They care, Nikolas. They’ve always cared. They’ve just… they’ve tried to be what you need. But I don’t think you know what that is any more than they do.”
“I need—” I quickly cut myself off, a knee-jerk reaction to hold myself back despite all of this.
Calli growls in warning, and if I weren’t currently bleeding out beneath her, I might laugh at her attempt to scare me. But as it is, I’m pretty fucking terrified right now.
“I need to be accepted,” I say, jerking my eyes away from her as shame burns through me.
“See, this is what you don’t get,” she says softly, her fingers grasping my chin and turning me back so I have no choice but to look at her. “They all accept you. The only person who doesn’t is you.”
“And what about you?” I ask, my head spinning with everything she’s saying to me. It’s not a surprise. Deep down, I know all this shit. But knowing that she sees it too, that she can peel back all my bullshit layers and know exactly how I’m feeling is mind-boggling.
“I wouldn’t be pushing this hard if I didn’t care, Nikolas.”
“Why are you?”