The deep pink of her cheeks tells me that I’m right.
“Did you want me to have easy access for round two, beautiful?”
“No, I—”
“Show me,” I demand, my eyes dropping to her spread thighs. My mouth waters, knowing what’s hiding behind her short skirt.
But she denies me.
“I know what you’re trying to do,” she says, her eyes dropping from mine in favour of the knife in her hand as she lightly trails it down the centre of my chest.
My heart rate picks up as I realise her intentions with that thing. Curling my fingers into a fist, I try to keep my fears locked down.
It’s just Calli.
It’s just Calli.
I don’t realise I’ve closed my eyes until my name falls from her lips.
They pop open, immediately finding her blue ones staring back at me.
Anger still darkens them, but it’s what I find beneath that, that makes my breath catch.
Hope.
It’s something she shouldn’t feel when it comes to me.
I’ve been nothing but a disappointment my entire life, and I have no reason not to believe that at some point, she’ll realise that as well.
I’m not sure I’m strong enough to keep her from seeing it anymore.
Pulling my t-shirt from my body, she presses the edge of my knife against the fabric.
It instantly parts, showing her just how sharp the blade she’s playing with as if it’s nothing more than a toy is, and she gasps in realisation.
“You could kill me with one wrong move, beautiful. Some days, I’m sure it would be better for everyone if—”
“Stop,” she demands. “Stop that right now.”
I nod, my lips falling closed.
“I’m not them, Nikolas. I don’t have unrealistic expectations for you.” I have to bite down on the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from telling her that she does. “I don’t want you to be anything but the person you are. I’ll take the broken and cracked bits. I’ll take the dark, the painful, and the tortured. What I don’t want is to be kept on the periphery of your life like you keep everyone else despite constantly telling me that I’m yours. Because if I’m yours, then you’re mine too. And if you’re mine, I want every single piece of you.”
With her eyes still locked on mine, she slices straight up the centre of my shirt, easily splitting it in two and revealing just some of the ugliness I try to hide.
“Calli.” Her name falls from my lips as a plea as I fight with the devil inside me that wants to do anything in its power to stop this from happening.
To stop her from seeing the real me.
My eyes close, needing to cut myself off from her silent begging to allow her in, and she lets out a pained sigh.
I’m doing exactly as I said I would. I’m disappointing her, and it fucking kills me.
Pain slices right through my chest, as if she pushed my knife straight between my ribs.
She shifts over my hips, her weight lifting from my body, and I swear to fucking God, it would have been easier to deal with if she’d pushed her hand into my chest and ripped my heart clean out.
I swallow down the roar of agony that wants to rip from my throat, and I force my eyes to stay closed, knowing that I won’t be able to watch her walk away from me.