His lips parted, and I held my hand up while ascending the remaining steps. "You left Dorian. Youleftme. Youbrokeme, and I need you to understand that." I stopped before the door. "Yes, I supported your dreams and told you to go after them, but we had plans, and you changed them without saying anything. That wasn't the kind of relationship we had. We talked to each other, and you pushed me away.”
“No matter what, I can’t be as angry as I want to be because I told you to go. I pushed you to, but you… treated me like trash towards the end, and I didn't deserve that. I won't let you pull me in now that you're back, you being back and available doesn't mean I am."
I exhaled, releasing the breath I was holding, and he let go of the door, allowing it to swing open. "I won't play this game with you, the game of Exes and shit getting complicated because we can't come to an agreement that we're done."
He ran a hand down his mouth to his chin with frustration, and I felt the tears coming, but I clenched my fists and kept going.
"We're done, Dorian. You wanted us to be done, and it's been years. We're adults, grown people, not young kids trying to figure out their feelings because they don't know what they want. I won't fall into this trap of… of wanting to revisit the feelings of our past without a future.”
“I’m not testing old waters with you. So, that’s what I wanted to say. I wanted to nip this in the bud before we do something we’ll both regret. Okay? Just don't, okay, don't ask me to have dinner with you. We're not going to have coffee either, and I shouldn't have asked you to stay. We'll say hi to each other, and that'll be it."
I exhaled. "I don't hate you, I want to, but I don't. So I don't want animosity between us but you," I wagged my finger at him, trying to find the words. "I didn't fit into your life anymore, and it'll happen again. We both know it will, so let's not go there, okay?"
He didn't reply, and I waited precisely five seconds before turning to leave.
"You were my life," Dorian said, and I paused. "You didn't stop fitting into my life, Marian. You were everything to me, and that's why I ended things."
I wasn’t a violent person. I had never been, but right now, I wanted to choke him to death. What kind of bullshit was that?
"What?" I practically growled. "How does that even remotely make sense, Dorian?"
He stepped aside his back to the door. "Come in. We'll talk about this inside."
“No, we’re going to talk about this here. I’m not setting foot into your house after the rubbish that just left your lips. You broke up with me because I was your life? What?”
“Families become targets, Marian,” he said. “That’s why I sent Nikoli to a private school across the world.”
I frowned. "You did that because it's a great school. We talked about it together. You sent me the options you were considering."
“Yes,” he replied and stepped onto the porch. “I sent you the options the hunter organization suggested. Nikoli would be protected there, constantly under surveillance because of who I’d become. As a hunter, we mess with powerful people, Marian, people that will do everything to find out who we are and our family.”
"I've seen it," he whispered. "I've seen hunters lose their family, partners, and friends as payback. Hunter identities are classified, but corruption runs deep."
I shook my head. “Wait, just wait. Are you saying you broke up with me to protect me?”
"Yes," he answered, and I walked away. "If I told you the truth that I was ending things because I didn't want to put you in danger, you wouldn't have let me go.”
“No, you thought you knew what I’d say,” I rebutted.
I combed my freshly done hair back, ruffling my curls. All this time, I'd thought he'd changed, when he was trying to protect me. Thinking about it, he’d been adamant about Nikoli being sent to school overseas.
Nikoli was already living with me, he could have stayed in Wolfcreek, but Dorian was entirely against it. It all made sense now.
He placed distance between himself and the pack, Nikoli too, and… me.
“You said you didn’t love me anymore?” I said, and when I faced him, his eyes were screaming his apology.
“I thought it was the only way I’d get you to let go," he replied, and I threw my head back, my thoughts going wild, trying to keep up with what he was saying. “I'm sorry, Marian, I really am. It wasn't right how I ended things, but I didn't know what else to do. I can admit my stupidity, but I'd already gotten Nikoli into a good school where he’d be protected, the pack was wiped from my record, and you needed to have no ties to me. You were free to be with someone you'd know would come home to you."
"Every time I went on a mission, I did so knowing it could be my last. I didn't want to do that to you, and you’d already pressed pause on your life for me until I graduated from the academy. I couldn't let you put me first anymore."
"Oh, don't flatter yourself. I didn't pause my life! We made plans! Together! Then you made a choice that should have been mine! You should have told me the truth!” I rebutted. I was so furious I couldn’t think straight. “So you broke my heart instead of telling me the truth to protect me? I would have let go!"
“Would you?” he asked while advancing on me until I was pinned between him and the railing. “Would you have let go if I told you I didn’t want you to be left worrying about me, a man you couldn’t even be with? You’d say you were safe with the pack and when you leave for college, but the future we planned was crushed the minute I took the job. I—it was all I'd ever wanted, to protect people and you. I went to the academy to make a difference and saw where I could."
“I thought about giving it all up,” he whispered so close to my lips that we were almost kissing. "For you, I thought about coming home, but I—made a choice after my final test in the program.”
“Final tests are in the real world, and it should have been simple, but it wasn't." he laughed. "I was sent to the city you were accepted to college. I was there when you went on the tour.”