His hands trembled and the knot in his stomach grew. “How did you get so damn smart?” he muttered.
“I’ve been in your shoes, honey. Or don’t you remember my little hissy fit I threw at the cabin before running off like an idiot? Once I settled down, I knew I only had one chance to make things right with Luke, and it was too important for me to screw up. The idea of being without him…”
Wes saw the flash of pain cross her face as she contemplated her own words.
“And you know you’re going to have to explain about us,” Gracie added. “All of it. You don’t want to chance her finding out from someone else.”
He groaned. “I’ll be lucky to get her to understand my fucked-up way of saying I’ve fallen in love with her, but when I tell her you’re only my best friend, but that I happened to have sex with you a few months ago… I don’t see that going over too well.”
“Are you holding her accountable for everyone she’s slept with in the past?” Gracie asked as she crossed her arms in front of her.
He gave her a sharp look. “Of course not.”
“And she won’t either. Or at least she shouldn’t. But if she finds out later, she’ll wonder why you didn’t tell her. It’ll seem like you have something to hide. Never a good thing.”
“You’re right.” Wes sighed.
“I’m always right,” she said cheekily. “Glad I can get someone to admit it. Now. You need to get your ass on the road. Track down your girl. I need to get back to my husband.”
Wes leaned down and kissed her hard on the cheek. “Thank you, Gracie. I hope you know how much I love you.”
She gave him a fierce hug. “I do. Now go.”
Chapter Fourteen
Wes pulled up at Payton’s apartment complex and heaved a huge sigh of relief when he saw her car parked in her spot. He’d called her at least a dozen times, but she’d refused to answer. After the third time, his calls went straight to voicemail so he knew she’d turned it off.
He sat for a moment collecting himself, preparing for the biggest fight of his life. Not an argument, but a fight to keep her. To make her understand.
This was important. He hadn’t been sure just how important until he’d seen the tears she’d tried so hard to hide. And listened to her tell him to get the hell out of her life.
His heart pounding relentlessly, he got out and walked down the sidewalk to her unit. Once there, he rested one arm on her door for a long moment before finally knocking. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to his arm while he waited for her to answer.
He knocked harder then stood back, thumbs shoved into his pockets. A lifetime later, the door opened to reveal a very pissed Payton. His chest tightened when he saw the red streaks around her eyes.
“Can I come in?” he asked quietly. “There’s a lot I need to say to you.”
She hesitated, and her fingers gripped the edge of the door until they were bloodless. Then she shrugged and backed away before turning to walk inside, leaving him to follow.
Once inside, he shut the door behind him. Payton stood several feet away, arms crossed defensively over her chest. She looked tired. She looked small and vulnerable. His chest ached at the hurt he’d caused her.
He moved closer to her. “First, I’m very sorry about your dad. Is he going to be okay?”
“He’s going to live,” she said shortly.
He turned away for a moment and paced across the living room, hands behind his back. Then he swiveled again and stared at her.
Payton watched as a multitude of emotions crawled across Wes’s face. He looked uncomfortable, like he had a lot to say but no way to say it.
She emitted a tired sigh. She wished he hadn’t come all this way just to end things. She’d done a perfectly satisfactory job of that at the bar. If he had anything further to say, he could have left her a voicemail.
“I’m drawn to you, Payton.”
She snorted. “You have a damn funny way of showing it.”
He continued on as if she hadn’t popped off.
“And it scares the hell out of me. I shouldn’t need you like this so soon. But when I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you, anxious to see you again. I can’t explain this thing between us. God knows I’ve tried, but I do know I don’t want it to end.”
Her heart did a funny little flip-flop in her chest.
“It didn’t have to end,” she said softly. “I didn’t want it to end either. There was no reason we couldn’t have seen where it could have taken us. I wasn’t the one keeping score. I wasn’t the one hiding behind some bullshit exterior, afraid that I’d be seen as too desperate or needy.”
He crossed the distance between them and took her shoulders in his hands. He stared down at her, his gaze searing holes in her face.
“I lied to you, Payton. Not the best way to start a relationship. And I do want a relationship. With you. I told myself I didn’t. The idea scared me shitless because I liked my life just fine before you swept back in and turned my world upside down. I knew that things would change, that I’d have to make concessions, meet you halfway. And the selfish part of me wanted to have my cake and eat it too.
“But I’m here because, Payton, I don’t want to be without you. Is it too soon to feel this way? I don’t know, but I can’t change that fact. I’m as sure of that as anything in my life.”
He turned his head away for a moment as if grappling with the emotion she saw so clearly in his eyes just seconds before. When he looked back at her, his eyes were suspiciously wet.
“Payton…I think…I think I might just love you.”
She smiled. A watery, pitiful smile that only grew larger with every passing second. “I think I might just love you too, Wes.”
He framed her face with shaky hands. She could hear the harsh exhalation of his breath. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, there was such love and relief, and a hunger that fed her hopes and dreams.
He kissed her. Lightly, reverently. Then he slowly pulled away to stare down at her. “What do we do now?” he asked hoarsely. “I’m so tied up in knots I can’t even see straight. I’ve never…I’ve never felt this way about a woman. It’s kind of like being drawn on by a suspect and realizing I don’t have a weapon.”
She laughed, a choked, husky sound. “I scare you that badly?”
“You terrify me,” he whispered. “I’m terrified of losing you. I’m terrified of not being with you, of not being able to touch you, to make love to you. In such a short time, you’ve become so very precious to me. I don’t understand it. I don’t care.”