She looked down at her notes.
And then she looked up, letting out a gasp.
Now she saw what this was about! She couldn't believe she'd been such a klutz. She'd totally missed out on the nuances of what he was saying. Now that she thought about it, he'd been hinting at it during their earlier car ride also, when he'd mentioned the art gallery.
May felt her face burning crimson. How could she have been so completely insensitive to what he was asking? It was just that it had been so long since anyone at all had asked her out on a date. That was what it was. A date. She'd forgotten what it was like. Between the case and her sister's wedding, her mind had been utterly distracted.
May buried her hot face in her hands.
This day had twisted around to a disastrous end. She'd managed to totally mess up the situation and had probably wounded Owen by rejecting his offer. In fact, she'd blown it. She'd been too slow. Too slow to understand. Too slow to try to fix things with Owen.
What was she thinking?
And she'd done it in such a blunt way. Really, her behavior had been inexcusable and without any sensitivity. The fact that she hadn’t understood the situation was not a mitigating factor.
This could even affect their working relationship. She'd ruined their friendly, easy, companionable vibe, too. How had she managed that? And why? She couldn't even explain it to herself.
Her throat felt hot, tight.
The way he'd started up his car and roared off sounded hurt and angry. May felt her heart sink as low as her self esteem. In her daydreams, she'd never imagined that Owen would ask her out.
Really ask her out.
She'd never thought of him that way. It had just never occurred to her because she’d been so focused on work, during work hours. But yet, now that she played their conversations back in her mind, May realized that they did think along the same lines most times. They were fully in tune with each other. They'd gotten pretty close while working together. They made a damned good team. She liked him a lot. She trusted him.
Never had she imagined that she'd turn him down so hurtfully. And he'd sounded so upset.
Should she call him?
But what would she say? May couldn't think of a thing to say in this situation. It might be too soon. It might be better to leave things be, and see how she felt in the morning. Maybe by then, things would magically seem better.
Or worse, a little voice inside her suggested.
May looked at her watch.
It was close to ten o'clock. It was time to leave, having messed up her closest interpersonal relationship in a most destructive way.
She picked up her purse, turned out the light, and trailed out of the back office to the parking lot.
What would she have done if she had understood what he meant?
That thought gave her a sudden jolt. Would she have said yes to a date? The idea appealed to her in a way. But it also scared her.
Mostly, she realized, because it meant change. And change meant risk. It was safer and more comfortable to keep things as they were.
But it was too late to wonder about that now. She should, instead, be thinking about how she could fix it, and what she was going to say to Owen next time she saw him, tomorrow.
She wasn't sure what it would be like working with him on the case, with this awkwardness and embarrassment now raging through her.
She'd have to try, and hopefully she'd manage. But if she could only have replayed those last few words to him, how differently she would have done things on the second try.
She climbed into her cruiser, fished her keys out of her purse and turned on the ignition.
The engine kicked over.
May drove home thoughtfully, wondering how on earth she could repair the mess she'd made, or whether she’d never again be close to her loyal, clever, and very cute case partner.
And meanwhile, the killer was roaming the county. He’d killed at night before, and she felt terrified that he was planning to kill again. She hoped that Kerry would provide answers as soon as possible that would lead them closer to who he was.