I swallow a sob. “It wasn’t her choice. Depression isn’t a choice. It’s a sickness in your brain. I know because—”
Madison comes barreling into the room and flings open the closet door. “I found you! I found you!”
James wipes his eyes before we crawl out of the closet. “Good job, Mads.”
“Let’s play again!”
Denise leans against the doorframe. “That’s enough fun for one night. We have to get back home before Santa comes.”
“Santa! Santa! Santa?” Madison bounces out the door into the hall.
I feel like I’m going through the motions as I say goodbye to Denise and Madison, like I’m underwater and I can’t really hear what anyone is saying.
“I’m going to head out too.” I give the Russos a hug and thank them for allowing me to spend the day with them.
I clip Wilbur’s leash to his collar and all but run back to my house. When I’m inside, I close the door and lean my back against it, letting out a long exhale. Thoughts swim in my head, worry churning like a brewing storm.
But a knock on the other side of my door pulls my attention. I swing it open and see an out-of-breath James standing on my porch.
My eyebrows press together. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
His hand wraps around the small of my back, and he pulls my body against his. “I wanted to give you a proper good-night kiss.”
Then his mouth is on mine.
This is more than the tender kiss we shared earlier. It’s a deep, frantic, passionate kiss—like we’ll die if we stop.
I just might.
He lifts me up and walks me backward into my house. My shoulders hit the wall in the entryway, and I wrap my arms and legs around him. My lips part as James slides his tongue against mine. He groans into my mouth, sending a delicious shiver down into my core.
I lose track of time, relishing in the feel of his hard body pressed against mine, his hand in my hair and the other gripping my waist, as our tongues wrap around one another’s.
Finally, James pulls back, panting, and rests his forehead against mine. “I could kiss you for days.”
“I wish you would.” I lower my feet onto the floor, grounding myself as the reminder of our conversation about his mother creeps back into my mind.
How would he feel if he knew I tried to do the same thing his mother did?
What would he think of me?
Should I tell him? Does it even matter?
“Good night, Phoenix.” He places a lingering kiss on my lips, and I wonder if it’ll be the last.
15
James
I stareat Phoenix’s mouth while she finishes her phone call.
I’ve been completely useless since our kiss last night—Phil made sure to tell me so during our shift today. But those soft, warm lips of hers have been calling to me like a siren. I was on her doorstep the second I got home, hoping she’d be as eager to see me as I’ve been to see her.
She answered the door with the phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder and waved me inside. Now, I’m watching her like a lion while she paces, waiting for the right time to pounce on my prey.
“I’ll come by this week so we can hang for a bit.” Phoenix’s eyes dart to mine before she glances down at her feet. “Yes, I will. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll make it up to you. Okay, bye.” She shakes her head as she sets down her phone. “Sorry. That was my friend, Drew.”
I wrap my hands around her waist. “Everything okay?”