He did love that little boy. He loved him with his whole heart. He loved Beth too, and he hated that he’d pressed her into a corner where she felt like she wasn’t good at being married, and that she’d disappointed him.
Maybe he had been disappointed. Maybe he had been upset. Maybe he’d stayed at Bluegrass Ranch last night to get some distance. “Only for clarity of thought,” he said to himself.
“What?” TJ asked, and Trey shook his head.
“Nothing, bud.” He walked down the hall and into the bedroom where he’d first stayed when he’d moved in here. He didn’t have much in this room, but he had kept his suitcase in the closet here. He pulled it out and picked up the few things he’d left in this room.
Then he took the suitcase across the hall and started filling it with his clothes and toiletries. He was sure he’d forget something—he had food here that he’d bought for himself. Things Beth didn’t even like. He wasn’t going to go through every cupboard and closet. Whatever he left behind, she could throw away.
He hesitated, because he didn’t want to make more work for her. He simply didn’t know what else to do. Breaking off an engagement was easier than this, and that had been the most horrific situation of his life. This would be worse, and to tell his parents…
Trey’s chest hitched, and he zipped the suitcase closed, desperate to get out of the farmhouse before Beth returned.
He did so quickly, leaving his suitcase by the front door and jogging back to TJ. He picked the boy up off the couch in one swift move and held him so tight that TJ grunted. “Hey,” he said, his voice a squeak.
“Sorry,” Trey whispered, his throat so narrow. “I love you, buddy. Okay? No matter what happens, or what tomorrow is like, I love you.”
“Okay,” TJ said. “I love you, too, Trey.” He hugged him tight too, and then Trey set him back on the couch. He picked up his game machine and went right back to it.
Trey watched him for another moment and then said, “Be good for your mother,” before leaving.
He drove away from Dixon Dreams, so many things up in the air while his heart was down in the bottom of his boots.
* * *
“No,we’re still doing the Classic,” Trey said a week later. “It’s only nine days away.” He looked at Rob, glad when the man nodded instead of asking another question.
“I just wasn’t sure,” he said. “When I talked to Beth, she said the two of you weren’t really talking right now.”
“Mm.” Trey wasn’t going to go into all the details. He’d been sleeping and living at the homestead on Bluegrass Ranch since their discussion last week, but he’d texted her several times.
They were respectful exchanges. He’d asked her to please let him finish with Somebody’s Lady and run the Classic.
She’d agreed.
She’d said he had a case of protein shakes at the house and that she’d put them on the front porch for him to pick up at his convenience.
He had.
He’d told her he was willing to keep picking up TJ from school.
She’d said her sister was taking him, and it was a great time for both of them to visit in the evenings when Beth went to get TJ from Sally.
Trey tried not to think about the life he’d enjoyed at Dixon Dreams. If he dwelled on it for too long, he lost hours of his day, and he simply didn’t have that luxury.
“I’m going to take her around the other way,” Rob said, drawing Trey back to the training track. It had been dry for a few days now, which meant their outdoor track was prime running ground.
“Okay,” Trey said, looking down at his clipboard. “We need to press her to do two laps at almost race speeds, and then we’ll be done.” He had note after note of Lady’s training over the last few months, and he didn’t know what he was going to do once the Classic ended.
He wanted another horse to train, but he hadn’t spoken to anyone at Bluegrass about it.
Rob rode off on the black and white horse, and Trey climbed into the stands to watch them. They had fifteen minutes of their time left, and then Trey would have to get next week’s reminders out to everyone. He had March’s schedule to review and finalize, and he needed to call no less than six trainers about the stable spots that had opened up in their row houses.
How he’d managed to keep up with his work here, keep TJ at his side, and go home to Beth in the evenings, he’d never know. “It was a miracle,” he said aloud, feeling the truth in those words the same way he’d felt the Lord telling him to help Beth by marrying her.
He sat down in the stands and hung his head as he put his elbows on his knees. “What do I do now?” He wasn’t happy, and surely everyone on Earth knew it. The Lord had to as well.
God didn’t answer him, something Trey was used to, but this time, he didn’t let the bitterness and disappointment touch his heart. He simply looked up and found Somebody’s Lady out on the track.