Chapter Twenty
Dean
Jillian slipped out of the dress and stood before me in only white cotton panties and no bra. I’d never seen a bra hanging on the line, so maybe she didn’t wear them. I’d made it a point to look away when she’d undressed in front of me before, when we were going to run, but this time...this time, I knew she wanted me to look. I sat on the edge of the bed and brought her to stand between my knees, wanting to to take my time and take her in.
“You’re beautiful,” I said, although my mouth was so dry, my tongue was sticking to the roof. “So beautiful.”
Jillian’s breasts were mesmerizing. My fingers twitched, but I didn’t want to rush, to do anything to scare her or…
“This is your first time?” Not that I was very experienced, but I had a high school girlfriend I’d been intimate with and a few coeds I’d had casual nights with. Looking at this woman standing before me, I didn’t know how I even bothered with the others. It had been fun, and pleasant, but I wanted Jillian like I wanted my next breath.
Her nod confirmed what I’d known anyway. And it made me feel so happy to be the one to introduce her to love. Then I panicked. What if I was horrible? Not that I’d had complaints, but I’d never felt such pressure to be great before. Or at least decent. It wasn’t about sex, even if it was. She was my mate. And even with my limited understanding I knew. My heart pounded so hard, I thought it might fling itself out of my chest.
Jillian had the sweetest smile. I thought I saw a flicker of something in her eye, but then it was gone.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
Her brow furrowed, and the flicker came back. Was it fear?
I placed a hand on her waist and settled her on my lap. “I didn’t even know there was such a thing as mates until I came here, and I probably don’t have a clue how to be one. But you make me want to try.”
She watched me, the woman who’d helped me find a new life. How could she convey the wisdom she did when she had to struggle so hard growing up? Or more to the point scrambled up toward adulthood.
I drew her closer and dipped my chin. “We have a lot of kissing to do.” Once our lips touched, I forgot everything but the sweet scent and taste of her. I couldn’t get close enough and wrapped my arms around her to bring her against me. I tightened my grip until she squeaked then I loosened a little. Only a little.
Her lips parted under mine, and I deepened the kiss, tasting her sweetness while my palms caressed the soft skin of her back. I didn’t know how the fates granted me a person like her, but I swore to try every day to be worthy of her, of this gift, of this amazing, beautiful, kind, resilient woman. When kissing, although I wanted to do it forever, was not enough, I shifted her to lie on the bed and grasped the waistband of her panties, sliding them down over her hips and thighs, then down her calves and off. She had gained some flesh since I moved in, filling out to look healthier and I took pride in that. In providing things she needed.
Jillian eyed me steadily but her gaze questioned me. And I’d begun to understand her better even without the notes, although speaking in minds when we were shifted was very nice.
“Just taking it all in.” I smiled and stood to do what she’d suggested. When I was as naked as she, I hesitated—not that I wasn’t desperate to touch her, but she looked so vulnerable. “Jillian, are you sure you want to do this? There’s no rush.”
She sat up, reached out, and touched someone. Me. Her little fist closed around my cock and squeezed. I barked out a laugh. “Squeeze a little harder, and things will happen very fast.” I pried her fingers loose, although I had no desire to. Her hands weren’t soft—she spent too much time working outdoors for that—but the one gripping me felt so good.
Jillian scooted back on the bed and lay against the pillows, and I followed to lie beside her. For the first time, we were naked together from head to foot, and although the cabin was warm with a blazing fire, her skin was hotter. I traced her lips then kissed them, gently. My fingertips learned her body, with my lips coming behind. Her ears were delicate shells, and she shivered when I nipped the lobes.
I intended to kiss every inch of her, but good intentions aren’t always doable. Especially when the scent of my mate’s arousal surrounded me like a fragrant cloud. My cock was so hard, I was afraid of coming against her leg, and I’d sooner die than let that happen. But I needed to be sure she was ready for me, so I dipped my fingers between her legs to find her soaked.
Lying between her legs, I positioned myself at her entrance, keeping my gaze fixed on her eyes, half-closed and dreamy, while she moved restlessly under me. It wasn’t like anything before, and I truly felt like it was my first time as well as hers. “Ready?”
She bucked her hips.
Inhaling deeply, I thrust forward, bumping against her hymen. I watched her for signs of distress then, seeing none, retreated a bit and drove in all the way. Her gasp almost made me slow, but her fingernails dug into my shoulders, and she rocked her hips up, sending me even farther inside her beautiful body. “Jillian…”
I had no more words, only desire to show her with my body how much I cared for her. And that meant holding back, no matter how difficult, until she found her pleasure. She surrounded me, tight, hot, and mind-bending. I braced myself on my hands, riding higher, holding back, but my balls tightened, and then, just when I thought I’d let her down, she cried out, and her internal muscles rippled, clenched, and brought me, spilling my cum inside her.
Her shriek was not the same as calling my name, but she was still coming, as was I, and I rolled, taking her with me until she lay curled atop me, burrowing close. I drew a quilt over us and held her close, thanking the fates again for their gracious gift of my mate.
I’d always yearned for connection and never dreamed of one like this.