As I round the corner to Maddie’s house, a woman barrels into me, and my hands shoot out instinctively to save her from a nasty fall.
Blue eyes, the colour of the sky on a clear summer’s day, lock onto mine, and I fall into their depths. Just like I’ve been falling for the woman they belong to for years. The breeze catches her long, blonde hair and Maddie’s unique scent washes over me, a blend of coconut and lime that’s unique to her.
“Jacob,” she breathes, her cheeks flushed as I steady her on her feet. “I-I…was just on my way to see you.”
“Same here,” I reply, handing her the bouquet of daisies that have remained miraculously uncrushed.
“They’re beautiful,” she smiles. “How’s your mum?”
“She’s doing much better. They put in a stent which seems to have done the trick.’ I pause, unsure how to explain the next bit without making Mum sound crazy. “She said she was talking to Kait when she was unconscious.”
Maddie doesn’t ridicule my Mum, just nods her head, waiting for me to elaborate.
“Apparently, Kait thinks we should be together.” She lifts an eyebrow, and I laugh.“Honestly, I’m not making it up.”
The parade makes the turn onto the road where we’re standing, the calypso beat filling the air.
“Maddie, why did you stop calling me?” I ask, surprising myself with the question.
“Because you had your own life to live. I didn’t think it was right to expect you to deal with my issues. I wanted you to be able to enjoy yourself without worrying about me. I never wanted to be your burden, Jacob.”
Burden? She thought caring for her, comforting her, talking long into the early hours with her made her a burden? “You’ve never been a burden to me, Maddie. I thought you’d stopped messaging me because the nightmares had stopped.”
She shakes her head, and my gut tightens with the realisation that she’s been dealing with this on her own.
“I’m sorry, Maddie. If I’d known, I would’ve done thing differently—" I grind to a halt.
Who the fuck am I kidding? I wouldn’t do a damn thing differently because last night meant everything. There’s never been a time that I haven’t wanted Maddie. Knowing I couldn’t have her, that she would never be mine, has been a gnawing ache in my gut for years. Seeing her at the Carnival yesterday, caught up in the crowd looking so lost and vulnerable, nothing on God’s green earth would’ve kept me from her.
I’m tired of hiding my feelings, of pretending that friendship is enough for me. It’s not. It’s time to tell Maddie exactly how I feel.
Maddie
Jacob opens his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it.
“I still have nightmares most nights,” I blurt out. “You’re always the first person I want to talk to about them, but I’ve been keeping a journal instead.”
He raises an eyebrow. ‘How’s that been working for you?”
“Not so great,” I confess.
“Any news on your stepdad?”
I shake my head. “No. And I hope it stays that way.”
Jacob links his fingers with mine, and we head back to his house while the parade marches beside us.
“There’s something I need to tell you, Maddie.”
“Same here. You go first,’ I say, suddenly gripped by nerves.
“I love you.”
My heart feels like it’s going to burst from my chest. Warmth pours through my bloodstream, and I think I may start ugly crying. “I love you, too.”
Jacob turns to face me, cupping my face in his big hands. “Thank fuck! Because I want to do all the stuff with you, the moving in together, the getting married, the kids.”
Tears overflow and slide down my cheeks. “What about the sex stuff? You don’t want to do that, too?” I laugh-cry.
“Oh, I want to do the sex stuff again, but only with you. You were my first, and you’ll be my last, Maddie.”
I pull back to look at him in shock. “I was your first? But…but you were so good at it!”
Jacob’s cheeks turn ruddy despite his cocky smirk. “Thanks. I had a long time to imagine all the dirty things I’d do if I ever got my hands on this sexy little body,” he says, pulling me against him so I can feel the evidence of his arousal.
Heat coils in my lower belly, and I press my hips against his, making him groan. “Dirty, huh? Do you think you ticked every box in that department last night?”
“Not even close, baby. Not even close,” he growls just before his mouth lands on mine.