Was I really never going to get to kiss those plush lips again? Never touch that soft hair, or run my hands down the slender back? Could it really be that I’d never again quiver under her as she ravished me, or listen to her moans as I worked between her legs?
I’d change her mind. I had to.
Don’t do this, I told her with my eyes.
In response, she looked at Tisha. “Could you get to the point?”
“Sorry,” she said. “The crux of it is that I’ve been in touch with both Gretchen’s mother and father.”
“You found Amanda?” I blurted out.
“Yes. She’s been living in Sargasso, where Derek ran into her.” She turned to Faye. “She’s willing to talk to you. Not a negotiation… I mean on a personal level.”
“And Derek?” Faye asked softly.
“He’s hoping this doesn’t have to turn into an all-out custody battle.” Tisha bit her lip. “He’d like to talk to you, too. Mediated by me.”
“I’m joining you,” I said. No question of it. No one and nothing was going to keep me away.
Apparently Faye hadn’t gotten the memo. “No,” she growled.
“I’ll let the two of you work it out,” Tisha said.
“There were some small things I was going to go over with you, but all things considered…” She looked from Faye to me. “I think your time would be better spent coming to an agreement together.”
She let us out, and Faye and I stood tensely in the parking lot, an arm’s span apart. I ached to step closer, to take her in my arms the way I’d been able to for so long.
Funny how fast you can get used to something you never thought you’d have. A year ago, it would’ve been unimaginable for me to ever kiss Dr. Faye Erwin. Today it was unimaginable that I couldn’t.
“You don’t have to do this,” I said softly. “I’m here. You’re not sparing me from anything by pushing me away. You’re only making this harder for both of us.”
Faye cradled the baby closer to her chest. “Stop trying to change my mind. It’s a final decision.”
My heart broke a little more. “Fine,” I said. “But at least keep me updated on what happens with Gretchen.”
“I’ll think about it.”
I’d never guessed she could be so cold. “Please,” I said. “And let me come to the meeting with Derek.”
“Maybe.”
It sounded like a no.
My limbs felt weak. If she stuck to this decision, today could seriously be the last time I’d ever see Gretchen. My throat got tight at the thought, and I couldn’t keep from choking up.
“Let me hold her,” I said, nearly begging now. “I just want to give her a kiss.”
Faye stepped neatly around me. “It’s better if you don’t.”
“Please…”
“Forget her,” she said. “Forget us.”
* * *
There was no word from Faye after that. Not directly, anyway.
Through Dr. O’Neill, she sent the message that I could pick my things up the next night, when she’d be out. And like an obedient little ex-girlfriend, I went.