The truth was that I had considered going back, because deep down, some masochistic part of me did want to see Dr. Adler again. Part of me wanted to know why he’d destroyed my self-esteem and threw me out to the wolves, even though I knew that finding out would just crush me again. What kind of mentor did that?
But I wouldn’t go back. I couldn’t, and besides, I couldn’t afford tuition even if I really wanted to. Even with all the restaurant hours and street drumming cash in the world I couldn't afford Beasley tuition, not without my scholarships, and I wasn’t about to pull out loans.
“So, same set as last night?” asked Kaitlyn.
“Yeah,” I said. “Will you be okay singing without an amp? I’ll temper my drumming.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, with a grin. “My voice is fucking powerful.”
The three of us laughed. I really liked Kaitlyn and Brianne. It was nice to have new friends, especially ones that I had musical chemistry with. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed playing with other people.
It wasn’t long before we’d gathered a large crowd of people, way bigger than anything I’d been able to draw on my own. Practically everyone had their phones out, recording us playing. I loved how raw our performance was. Last night we’d been on mic’d and amplified instruments, so everything had a very clear and defined sound. Today, we were fully unplugged, and the combination of acoustic guitar, violin, and makeshift street drums was visceral and exciting. Even though we’d played these songs together before, it felt off the cuff and almost improvisational, even more than it had last night.
We were in the middle of our third song when I suddenly felt a presence that made me open my eyes and drew me out of my concentration. I was surprised to see Melany standing in the crowd, smiling as she watched us. My heart nearly flew out of my mouth, and I almost let go of one of my sticks. I struggled to restrain a laugh as I imagined nailing her with the drumstick again.
When we finished the song, Melany came over, wrapped me up in a hug, and planted a kiss on my lips.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Isn’t this a bit early for lunch?”
“I decided not to work,” she said. “I’ll explain later.”
“Whoah, whoaaah,” said Kaitlyn. “Just friends, huh? Looks like we missed something after we left last night.”
“Yeah,” laughed Melany. “We’re kind of together now.”
There were some scattered awws from the crowd and one “that’s so cute.”
“Yeah, let’s give this new happy couple a hand, folks!” Kaitlyn said, clapping.
“Anyway, I just wanted to say hi,” said Melany, giving me another kiss that made the butterflies flutter inside of me. “I’m going to watch you guys play.”
She retreated back to the edge of the crowd, who parted to allow her a front spot, and the three of us burst into our next song.
We played for three hours before Kaitlyn and Brianne both had to leave. They asked if I would still be here later in the day, but I told them I wasn’t sure. If Melany wasn’t working, I wanted to spend the day with her instead.
“Let me treat you to
lunch,” I told her. “I made pretty good money today. Playing with Kaitlyn and Brianne is really going to be good.”
“You guys are awesome,” Melany said. “But you don’t have to do that. You should hold on to that money. Use it for your rent.”
“I want to treat you,” I insisted. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” she said, and smiled. “Where do you want to go?”
I grinned apologetically. “McDonalds?”
We sat and chatted over Big Macs and a pile of French fries, and Melany explained her revelation and how she planned on holding off on her projects until she felt she was ready to work again.
“I need to find my soul again,” she told me, munching on a ketchup-dipped fry. “Just like how I suspect you needed to find yours again for your drumming. A creator can’t create something worthwhile without her soul behind it.”
“Mm,” I said, chewing down a mouthful of burger. “I do agree with that, but I don’t know if I agree that I’m playing with my soul.”
“Come on. Every time I see you play, it feels like I’m seeing a bit of your soul. You’re amazing.”
“I don’t feel that way, though. It was still a bit of a struggle, playing last night. The alcohol helped, but the anxiety is still there.”
“I see,” she said. “Then what do you think is missing?”