“There are some really cool ones in the main gallery. Want to go check them out?”
“Sure.”
“We’ll be back for your set,” Melany said to Kaitlyn. “How long?”
Kaitlyn looked at her phone. “Twenty minutes. After the cellist.”
Melany and I strolled back inside together. “I’m not usually into the whole gallery thing,” she told me. “This place is pretty badass, though.”
“It is,” I said, nodding. “I’ve never been before. It’s pretty great that this was all set up by a Beasley professor.”
I finished the rest of my second wine, and Melany drained hers too. “Refill?” she asked, and I nodded gratefully.
“To be honest,” she said as we took two new cups from the catering table, “I don’t know how cool the art in here actually is. I just wanted to talk to you alone.”
My heart did a flip.
“I’m glad you came,” she said. “I’ve been thinking about you all week, actually. I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”
“You have my number,” I said. “If you wanted to talk to me, why didn’t you just text?”
She looked embarrassed. “I didn’t think you would respond.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, you’re right, I probably wouldn’t have.”
“This is all a little weird to me,” she said. “I’m not used to this.”
“To what?”
“How I feel about you.”
I looked at her, and her gray eyes gazed back at me so intensely that a shiver ran through my body. “What are you talking about?” I said, my heart racing. Hearing that from her thrilled me, but it made me want to run. “Melany, I told you…”
“I know, I know. Friends. One-time thing. But, fuck, Kendra. I just can’t get you out of my head, and this has never happened to me before. I just want to know the honest truth—you don’t feel the same way at all? There’s nothing? Because it wasn’t the sex that made me feel this way. You’re different.”
I felt scared—scared to admit the feelings that were so plainly running through my body. “Right,” I said. “I’m sure you say that to every girl you bring to your house. Why me, Melany? You already fucked me. What else do you want? Just get another girl. Rosebridge is filled with them.”
She looked hurt, and I regretted what I said immediately. “This is the honest truth, Kendra. I’m not going to pretend and say you’re the only woman I’ve been with, because yeah, I’ve had a lot of partners. But I do feel differently about you. From that first evening just talking with you, I realized that you’re different from anyone I’ve ever met. It’s been fucking killing me this past week, trying to understand it. All I know is that you’re special. So tell me—is there really nothing?”
I shook my head. “I-I don’t know. I can’t… There’s just too much for me to handle, and it scares me. I’m still all fucked up from my ex, and I can’t even be sure what I feel anymore. I’m just fucking broken, Melany.”
I hung my head down. I felt so small, and I just wanted to disappear. Then I felt Melany’s arms reaching around me, pulling me into a tight hug. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve realized. I know you’re still dealing with some rough shit right now. Take it slow. I can wait.”
The knot in my chest slowly began to loosen. “Okay.”
She rubbed my arm. “For tonight, let’s just enjoy the event. How does that sound?”
I nodded. I felt horrible for unloading on her, but I was scared. These feelings were bubbling up so quickly and so strongly that I didn’t know what to do with them. I didn’t know how to address them. I wanted to trust Melany, but to take that leap of faith felt like the most difficult thing in my life. Even more difficult than playing the drums again. No, that felt easy compared to this.
Maybe I just need to… let go.
Just let go of everything. Every fear, every worry, everything.
Could I do that? Could I live like how I felt when I played the drums? Completely and entirely in the present?
I need to stop being afraid. I can’t let the fear ruin my life.
We walked around the gallery and looked at all the illustrations on display. Melany threw out the occasional “Oh, this is nice,” or “This is a pretty interesting looking one.” I tried my best to forget about things and just enjoy the night out, but it was difficult. There was a lot that I wanted to know.