I fish my keys out of my pocket, only to suddenly feel a hard, familiar hand on my arms, dragging me backward.
Whirling in the direction of the hand that grasped me, I turn sharply to see Niall standing there, and I flinch, my eyes narrowing.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I exclaim, trying to jerk my arm out of his grasp. “I told you it’s over, Niall. I know we’ve done this in the past, but I meant it—”
“This has nothing to do with that—” he starts to say, but I hit the unlock button on my keys, intending to jerk away from him and head for my car before we can get into an argument. I’m done with this, and I don’t feel like talking about it. We did all the talking we needed to do last night.
It all happens so quickly that I hardly have time to process it. One second my finger is pressing down on my keys, the beeping sound echoing in the afternoon air. Then the next moment, there’s a flare of fire and heat, a sound that makes my head feel as if it’s splitting open, and I feel weightless as if I’m flying through the air.
Maybe I am. Maybe that’s why I feel an impact that takes the wind out of me, my body limp and useless, my hearing gone as the world turns orange and yellow and red around me. I catch a faint glimpse of Niall’s face from where he’s lying on the concrete just beyond me before the world turns black.
21
SAOIRSE
Ihonestly think, for a second, that I’ve died. It’s the first thing that comes to mind when all I see is bright lights and white above me, my vision flickering in and out. I think I hear voices and sense movement around me, but I can’t be sure. For all I know, I’m dreaming or hallucinating.
Connor.His name and face are the first things I think of, and that’s the first thing that makes me think that maybe I’m not dead. Would I still want him if I was? Would I still be thinking about him, dreaming of him, aching for him? That’s what brings me back to awareness more than anything else, wanting to find him, to know if something has happened to him too.
I don’t expect the pain. It feels as if I’m bruised down to the bone, every inch of me aching and sore. I close my eyes as I can feel myself surfacing from the darkness, struggling to find my breath, my equilibrium, as I come back to the living and all the pain and suffering that entails.
It’shardto breathe with how much I hurt. But I slowly find my balance, letting my eyes flicker open as I try to think past the aching pain.
I’m in a hospital. That’s the first thing that I realize. The lights above me are fluorescent. I’m in a bed that’s tilted up slightly, needles and tubes in my arms and wires attached to me, a machine beeping nearby. I’m cold, and I shiver as my lips part, and I suck in a deep breath of purified, cleaner-scented air.
“Saoirse!” Maggie’s voice gasps my name, and I turn my head slowly, wincing in pain. “No, don’t move.” Her hand is on my arm, and she’s leaning over me, her curly hair a wild mess as she peers down at me with worried, tired eyes. “Oh, thank god, you’re awake.”
“She’s awake?” Caterina’s voice floats towards me, and then she’s on the other side of me, her wide dark eyes looking down at me with clear concern. “How are you feeling, Saoirse?”
“Give her some space; she just woke up.” The expression on Maggie’s face is almost territorial, which makes me want to laugh—although I can tell that it would hurt my bruised or cracked ribs far too much. It reminds me of Connor, and I jerk upright despite the pain, everything else fleeing as I wonder why on earth he’snothere. Maggie is, even Caterina is, but the one person I woke up thinking about isn’t. It makes my chest ache and makes me want to slip back into the dark nothingness of sleep.Was it all a dream? A lie? Does he not really care what happens to me after all?
“Connor?” I croak out despite myself, and I catch Caterina shooting a worried glance at Maggie before she grasps my hand.
“I have to be careful of how much I say,” Caterina says softly. “Since she’s not one of us. But Saoirse—you weren’t the only one attacked.”
My eyes fly wide, and I try to push myself up further, but Caterina squeezes my hand, trying to stop me. “Don’t move too much. You took a big hit. Connor’s alive, but he—”
“What?” I demand, stopping my attempt to sit up at the sudden pain in my ribs, but giving her a look that says I want to knownowwhat’s going on with my husband, or I might start trying to get up again to find out myself.
Caterina lets out a breath, glancing again at Maggie before squeezing my hand. “He was shot,” she says softly. “Twice. It was touch and go for a minute, while you were out too. But he’s stable now, and he’s going to make it—”
“I want to go to him,” I demand instantly. “I need to see him—”
“You need to wait,” Maggie cautions, and another of those looks passes between her and Caterina. “You—”
“Whatisit?” I look between the two of them, frustration rising up at the sudden feeling that they’re hiding something from me. “What’s going on?”
“Saoirse, you’re—” Caterina starts to say and then bites her lip, looking at Maggie.
“You’re pregnant,” Maggie says in a rush, gripping my other hand. “So you need to rest. You were thrown several feet by the blast when the car blew up. It’s a miracle you and the baby are both fine.”
The car.I squeeze my eyes tight, the memory of the orange and yellow fire, the heat, and the feeling of my body slamming into concrete coming back in a rush, and I wish it hadn’t. “What about Niall?” I whisper, feeling my chest tighten. We’d ended things, and not on the best note, but the idea of anything having happened to him, especially on my account—of him beingdead—is unthinkable.
“He’s fine,” Caterina says quickly. “He was bruised and banged up, but he was in better shape than you. He just spent a night in the hospital, and he’s already out.”
“Good,” I breathe with a relieved sigh. And then it hits me, what they’d said just before the memory of the explosion had come rushing back.The baby.
“I’m pregnant?” I whisper, feeling emotion well up, choking me, my throat tightening. “You’re sure?”