I was only twenty feet away when I recognized the shape huddled on the bench to the side of the sidewalk. Bryce.
His head was bowed, his elbows resting on his knees and hands folded under his forehead. He rocked forward and back.
I recognized the posture as one of pain and prayer, and guilt washed over me anew.
My steps faltered, and I saw his head turn toward me. I was too far away to read his expression, but I could imagine it. I could almost feel the angry glare I was sure was there.
I stood there, in the middle of the sidewalk, for I don’t know how long. A minute, maybe two. Bryce hung his head again, and I heard the muffled sound of his voice.
“Just go, Krys.”
“I can’t just leave you like this,” I said, tentatively taking a few steps toward him.
He scoffed. “Really? Nothing ever stopped you before.”
“That’s not fair, Bryce. I didn’t expect this to happen. I didn’t know how you felt in high school.”
“Well, you know how I feel now. And it hasn’t changed anything, has it?”
“Of course, it has. Of course, you have.”
I was next to him now, so I sat down on the bench alongside him.
“I’ve been miserable all day trying to figure out why I wasn’t happier about my newfound luck. You should have heard my agent’s glee when she shared about the Magic Channel star who found herself checked into rehab and leaving me the spot.” I shook my head. “It was gross.”
“I don’t know how you live in that world, Krystal. You’re not like that.”
“Not always.” I remembered the times I had participated in the gossip mill in LA, making myself feel better by putting down another struggling actress. “Even though I hate how it happened, I can’t deny that I’m excited about the opportunity. But I still hated knowing I was going to have to tell you.”
“What did you think I would do?”
“I thought you’d convince me to stay,” I said honestly.
He grunted. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious.” I paused a beat. “Apparently, my mom was all set to go to New York City after high school. She wanted to perform on Broadway, and then she fell for my dad. I don’t think she ever even left Indiana, until I brought her out to visit me a few years back.”
Bryce didn’t say anything.
“I just… I didn’t want to give up on my dream.”
“I never said you had to. I knew the chances of you staying in Minden were almost zero. Our fake relationship wasn’t supposed to go anywhere. But when it started becoming real… I had to face the facts.”
“When I got the call that I hadn’t gotten the part, I started to think I was done. That I could stay here and that it was God telling me to let go of acting. But… I was also heartbroken. Wanting to be with you doesn’t change the fact that I also want to be there–on set, filming a movie for Faithmark.”
He nodded. “No, it doesn’t. Our worlds just don’t intersect anymore, Krystal. They may have started in the same small town thirty-three years ago. But when we were eighteen, our lives took very different trajectories. I was just fooling myself with the possibility our lives could come back together after so long.”
I heard the sadness and resignation in his voice. “I’m sorry, Bryce. I don’t know what else to say besides that. I never should have agreed to the fake relationship. And I should have let someone else do the auction. Saved both of us the heartache.”
Bryce shook his head. “I don’t think so. The last few weeks have been the best I can remember in a long time. I always wondered what might have happened. Turns out we would have been better than I even imagined.”
“Bryce…”
“It’s okay. I think I’m actually going to be okay. I’m going to have a few more words with God after I get home. But this is as much my fault as yours. Turns out, we both knew better.” Bitterness laced his voice. He looked back up at me. “Did you ever think I might go?”
I frowned with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
He rubbed his hands over his face. “I set up an interview in LA the week after the auction. Not that it matters now.”
I shook my head as I processed his admission. “LA?”
He nodded. “Don’t you get it, Krystal? I would give up anything for you. Anything. But you’re too caught up in chasing your own dreams to realize that you don’t have to achieve them alone.” With that, he stood from the bench and walked farther down the trail. “Just go. Do your movies.”
I’d never even considered the possibility that he would leave Minden. He’d scheduled an interview. That wasn’t just lip service.
Of course, Bryce didn’t generally say anything he didn’t mean. If he said he was willing to leave, then he meant it. Or at least he was willing to have the conversation.
Which is more than could be said for me.