with you constantly.
Because it was a
particularly moving
Roseanne episode.
THE PERKS OF BEING FRIENDS WITH A LESBIAN
Would never, ever
shame you for knowing the theme
song to Dawson’s Creek.
Thrilled to lend you a
cowboy hat or bolo tie
for costume parties.
Will tell you that your
’90s fashion sense never
will go out of style.
Always have access
to nail clippers, no matter
the circumstances.
We will always ask
what you are thinking—many,
many times a day!
Clown school? Septum ring?
A third Ph.D.? All great
and wise life choices.