Sex in your forties
Quick, the kids are out,
so I’ve readied the Bareback
Mountain DVD.
You are not above
bartering sex favors to
not do the dishes.
Sex in your fifties
Let’s do that role-play
scene where I get to lie on
my back the whole time.
You menopausal?
’Cause, girl, you put the hot back
into hot flashes.
Sex in your sixties
You find that you are
suddenly concerned about
STIs again.
Sex in your seventies
I should tell you that
I’m bi … onic. And this hip
is titanium.
Sex in your eighties
Fuck me until I
can’t remember my name! Wait,
what is it again?
DOS AND DON’TS
Trimmed nails are a MUST.
Trimmed everything else is
always a surprise.