PARTI
1
CLAIRE
Inever imagined the week leading to my freshman year of college would be spent shoving what minimal belongings I could into boxes to be shipped to my new home on the other side of the country. But here I am, doing exactly that. The plan was always to go to Turner University and live where I have my entire life: on the East Coast, at home with my dad.
I sigh and shove a book into the cardboard container.
Dad speaks up from his spot against the doorframe of my bedroom. “Those go in that one.” He points across my messy space. “Here. Give it to me.” He takes it from my hand and examines it. “H.P. Lovecraft? Haven’t you read this a million times?”
I shrug. “It’s my comfort item, don’t judge me.” Some girls have stuffed animals or blankets, but I have stories that weave their way into my soul and hold on tight.
“Fair enough.” Dad tosses it in with the others and turns to face me. “Listen, kiddo. We don’t have to go through with this. It’s not too late to back out.”
Biting my lip, I pull myself together and look him straight in his deep blue eyes. “Dad, you’ve been waiting on an opportunity like this your entire career. You’re not going to blow it off because of me. I won’t allow that. I’ll be fine. Really.”
Part of me would be lying if I said I wasn’t upset about the massive change in my future, but it would be incredibly selfish of me to make my dad miss out on the professional opportunity of a lifetime because I couldn’t accept the new cards I’ve been dealt. Especially when he’s already given up so much to raise me by himself. It’s time for him to spread his wings and do something for himself for a change. And although it sucks to have things change, I fully support him following through with this dream.
Sure, moving to the other side of the country, where I have zero friends and have never actually visited, is a bit of a challenge. But that’s not the most difficult part to swallow—it’s the having to move into my mom’s condo and her offering to help with tuition for my first year of school.
To an outsider, this comes across like a totally normal thing. But, when your mother abandons you as a toddler to relocate thousands of miles away to become a flight attendant, and then proceeds to have nothing to do with you your entire life, you’re not exactly jumping for joy when she volunteers to play the role of “parent.”
A massive bright side is that her schedule is basically nonstop, so I probably won’t have to actually interact with her much. Living in her house is one thing but having to stomach awkward small talk and pretend to not hate her guts to her face is another.
If anything, this will be like a year-long vacation where I can soak up some sun and work my ass off to get the scholarship I applied for. The one that will allow me to return to my hometown and finish out the rest of my higher education in the place where I intended.
“I’m going to run down to Charlie’s and pick up our pizza. You want me to grab you a milkshake?” Dad fumbles around in his pockets until he finds what he was looking for.
“Sure. Thanks, Dad.” I scan the room, locating my backpack. I put my laptop inside and neatly wrap up a cell phone charger to go in the front compartment.
The steady thump of his footsteps trail down the steps and out of the house. It’s not long before the door opens again. Only it can’t be him, unless he forgot something.
“Claire,” a voice calls out. “You up there?” Footsteps pound up the stairs and into my room.
I take a breath to steady my pounding heartbeat, the reaction I always have with Griffin, my boyfriend. You never know which version of him you’ll get. I’m constantly crossing my fingers that it’s the sweet and romantic one. Most of the time, especially lately, I’m wrong.
It wasn’t always this way. In the beginning, Griffin was good to me. He was kind and thoughtful and even made me laugh. Over time, though, the niceness faded and now…now I can’t wrap my head around how I got to be sostuck. I’ve clung to the idea that the good Griff would come back, that I was just dealing with a temporary version of him. And in a way, he does return. I see it in waves. Blips of good moments with him. But they’re fleeting and becoming fewer and further between. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out hope that it will ever stick.
“Hey, babe.” Griffin comes closer, grabbing my hand and pulling me from the ground. He drags me in for a hug and leans in to kiss my cheek.
Immediately, I sense the shift in his mood.
“What? No warm greeting for your man? Isn’t your flight in a few hours? This is how you want to say goodbye?” He runs his palms down my shoulders and onto my forearms, gripping them tightly.
Too tightly.
“Griff, stop. You know I’m just stressed out.” I try to pull my arms away, but he doesn’t let go. I glance up at his stone-cold gaze, his ashy blond hair cascading down his forehead. “You’re hurting me.” I tug again with no success. “Seriously, cut it out.” Tears well in my eyes at the force of his fingers pressing into my skin.
“Come here,” he says through his clenched jaw, jerking me against his body.
The front door slams shut and with it, Griffin seems to snap out of his trance. If it weren’t for the intrusion, I’m not sure he would have let go. That thought alone sends a chill down my spine.
“Let’s eat.” A wicked smile snakes itself onto his face; a face that I once thought was beautiful.
I swallow down the familiar anxiety that comes with his presence.
It’s not that Iwantto stay with him, to continue being this person he torments, but I’m also not stupid enough to think that breaking up with him will be an easy feat.