I’ve been looking for any excuse possible to stay out of the dorm. I was already planning on volunteering this summer to build up my résumé, but it’s gotten to a point where there’s not enough for me to do. I’m walking and watching dogs every weekend on top of studying for my classes. Anything to pass the time until night falls.
I know I’m going to have to say something soon. I can’t keep living like this, but the girl is scary. She never smiles, never laughs. I can’t believe I ever thought she was nice. I must’ve been blinded by my broke college student status because there’s no universe in which Grace Paisley is fucking nice.
I turn the corner before Aveena can message me back and almost drop my phone at the sight of the guy leaning against my door.
No.
No.
Not now.
Memories swarm to the front of my mind as I drink him in, a thousand questions overlapping the sirens in my head. He hasn’t changed one bit, the exact same guy he was a year ago. The only difference is dark stubble covers his chin, and he’s got neck tattoos now.
I remember the last time I saw him like it was yesterday. I’d just been released from the hospital, and he was waiting in the parking lot, his hands tucked into his pockets. I’d read somewhere that liars tend to hide their hands. That they feel the need to conceal them when they’re hiding something, but I couldn’t handle another devastating story. I couldn’t handle the secrets brewing behind his eyes.
So, I let him keep them.
I knew there was more to the puzzle, but I wasn’t ready for the missing piece. I’d had enough bombshells dropped on me for a lifetime, and I convinced myself that I was okay with not knowing.
I told him we would never talk about it again.
Made it clear that I would never, ever call him “Dad.”
And that was the last time I spoke to my brother.
Well, until now.
“Jesse?”