Dia gives a small nod.
“That’s where my mom would sit whenever Dad and I went out on the lake. She refused to come because she hated the water, so I made her promise to watch the boat from up there. That way, she could always find us.”
Dia smacks her mouth shut, listening to me ramble. I notice the wind picking up and the water becoming agitated, but I convince myself that we’ll be out of here before the storm hits.
“I came here every day after the accident. Every. Single. Day. The search operations weren’t going anywhere, and I was hoping to see something on the horizon.”
“Something like what?”
“My mom. Floating away on debris or some shit. I guess I just thought… I’d find her like she found me.”
Dia’s fingers lock with mine, and I reject the affectionate gesture.
“I stopped going when it became clear that she was gone,” I add.
“She’s not gone. She’s still with you,” Dia croaks, moving closer like she’s approaching a wild animal who could scamper off at any moment. I can’t bring myself to look at her and see those heart-wrenching eyes pointed at me.
“Let me guess. She’s still in there.” I pat the left side of my chest.
She nods. “She is.”
I scoff. “Like hell.”
“You don’t believe it?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?” she asks.
I shrug. “When you lose someone, they don’t stay with you. They don’t linger in your heart, or look after you, or whatever the fuck people like to say. They’re just dead. Gone. That’s the thing with love—it dies with us.”
“Is that really what you think? That they leave nothing behind?”
I nod. “Damn right. Except maybe regret and memories…” I pause. “And a fucking necklace.”
My actions feel unnatural as I trap the chain around my neck inside my fist and pull. The clasp breaks under the pressure, and I guide the silver chain my mother made to my eye level. I haven’t taken off the stupid chain in a decade.
“What are you doing?” Dia worries.
Never peeling my eyes away from the chain, I take a few steps toward the edge of the deck. Thunder booms in the sky right then, a hair too close for comfort. Could this be it? Could my mother’s chain be the reason why I’ve been holding on to the past?
Dia steps in front of me, holding her hands up in anticipation of my next move. “Finn, listen to me. If you do this, it’ll be lost forever.”
But it’s too late. I throw the necklace into the churning lake and regret it immediately.
“No!” Dia tries to save the last thing I have of my mother’s.
And she succeeds.
She catches the necklace before it hits the water, but she slips on the puddle of whiskey on the deck in the process. My arm goes out to grab her hand, but we hit a wave at the exact same time, an extreme gust of wind knocking me backward. I look up, my ears ringing…
Then I see my baby fall.
I watch Dia topple into the water, but I don’t hear the splash.
I only hear my heart pounding in my ears as I run to the edge of the deck and see merciless waves wrapping her up. I want to shout, but I can’t open my mouth. I can’t move, my body cemented into place as Dia fights the current with all her might.
“Finn!” I hear her panicked pleas like an echo in the back of my brain.