Wasn’t Jesse in Redwater during that time?
Yes, yes, he was.
My brother disappeared out of nowhere at the end of last summer and only came back six months later. When I asked him where he’d disappeared to, he said he was in Redwater because he had some friends there, but what if… he really had enemies?
What if my brother did this?
“I don’t even know why I brought you here. I just thought… maybe you’d want to see him before he dies? At least once? Sounds crazy when I say it out loud.”
I think long and hard about my next move.
Do I want to see him?
The dirtbag who abused my mom?
“Let’s go in,” I say.
Finn’s head snaps up, eyes widening with shock.
“Really?”
“Yes. If I don’t, I’ll always wonder.”
The next few minutes are a blur. I’m lost in my own head, barely aware of my own actions as I climb out of the car and make a beeline for the entrance of the hospital. Finn’s voice sounds like a distant echo as he asks the receptionist which room the bastard is in. We thread down the halls together, my heart pounding, and I’m tempted to back down.
Until we stop before a door. My chest aches at the thought of the monster on the other side. Finn and I exchange glances, his hazel eyes asking me if I’m sure one last time. I swallow hard, reassuring him with a nod. Then he pushes the door open.
The first thing I notice is the yellowed white walls. The paint is chipped, and the small room smells like despair—at least, that’s what I imagine despair to smell like.
That’s when I see him. An unconscious wrinkly man with skin paler than the walls surrounding him. He’s lying in a hospital bed, beeping machines placed in each corner of the room. He looks like any other man in their late fifties, with a crooked nose and a receding hairline. Except, he’s not like them.
He’s a predator. The face many women will see every time they close their eyes for the rest of their lives. But he’s also half of the two people needed to create me. I share his DNA. His blood runs through my veins. And yet… he will never be my father.
I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but I can’t wait for him to die. I can’t wait for them to take him off life support, bringing a sliver of peace to his victims and all the kids he’s hurt. Kids like my brothers who he maybe didn’t violate in the same way but still traumatized.
Holy shit, what if he sexually abused Jesse, too?
I ask Finn for a moment alone, and he reluctantly obliges, stepping outside of the room. I don’t move from the edge of this man’s bed, staring at him for what feels like an hour.
“You’re never going to hurt anyone again,” I tell him.
Wherever my mom is, I’d like to think she knows that.
A nurse comes to tell me that visiting hours are over shortly after. I don’t argue, giving the lowlife one last glance before leaving a part of me behind. More precisely, the part who dreamed of the day when she’d get to meet her father. This man was never my family. But my real family has been lying to me my whole life. And if my parents were able to keep such a big secret from me…
Who’s to say they’re not lying abouteverything else?