My sadness evolves into rage.
“How come he didn’t get caught sooner?”
“Most of these girls didn’t have anywhere to go. They were traumatized young girls who came from nothing and had no one to turn to. I’m guessing they were scared? I also wouldn’t be surprised if he threatened them.”
They probably thought no one would believe them. A glimmer of hope ignites in my chest.
“But wait, if he’s in jail, that means he got caught eventually, right? One of them had to have come forward.”
Finn nods. “Your mom did. She went to the police a few days before you were born.”
“So, she’s the reason he went to jail?” I assume.
“Not exactly. They filed a police report, but… nothing ever came of it.”
“She was pregnant and alone. And they did nothing?”
“Not at first, but her courage inspired many of the other girls to come forward soon after. Nearly sixteen of his victims got together to take him down. And they won.”
Did they? He only got twenty years in jail. If you ask me, he should’ve gotten life.
“She’s the reason they got him in the end. Without her, the rest of the girls would’ve probably taken what happened to their grave. She saved them and hundreds of future girls from being put into that home.”
“But… did she save herself?”
Finn sighs. “She must’ve not liked what they told her at the police station because three days later, she was gone.”
They didn’t believe her, did they? They didn’t take her seriously. No wonder she felt like she had no other option but to run.
“Gone? What do you mean gone?” I stress my bottom lip.
“It doesn’t say much in the police report, but from what we could find out, she gave birth in her foster parents’ garage. Then no one ever saw her again.”
She gave birth alone at fourteen.
God, she must’ve been terrified.
“I’m guessing she was scared her foster dad would find out that she snitched to the police. Or maybe she couldn’t take another day of this hell,” Finn speculates.
She abandoned me, left me under the care of a monster, but I don’t blame her for running. She was fourteen. In her young mind, I was probably the result of that monster’s abuse, a continuation of the curse he put on her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she ran away because she didn’t have it in herself to take care of her rapist’s child. Either way, I’m glad she left me. No child deserves to feel unwanted or like they were forced upon their mother every time she looks at them. The day she left is the day she spared me from having to serve as a constant reminder of all those nights that creep crawled into her bed.
“So, she’s still missing to this day?”
“If you want to get technical about it, they declared her dead after seven years, but yeah, pretty much. She gave birth to you and fell off the face of the earth. There’s no records of her anywhere.”
I’d like to think that she’s off somewhere, living a peaceful life, but there’s wishful thinking and there’s being delusional. She was just a kid at the time, with no support system and no money. The chances of her still being alive are slim to none.
“Do you think my dads knew about this?”
My dads have always kept the “biological father” talk to a minimum. Could this be why? Did they know the whole time?
Finn traps his bottom lip between his teeth, avoiding my gaze. “I don’t know. But they interviewed your foster siblings when your mom went missing, and apparently, your brother and Beatrix were best friends. They’d been in two different foster homes together, and they were inseparable.”
Did Jesse beg my parents to take me in?
So many unanswered questions.
Neither of us speaks after that.