“For God’s sake, keep it on,” he fumes.
Like the petulant child he’s turned me into, I take my leave and walk away in shame, never looking back.
I stay in that mood until I get home.
Although Megan said she would be in working on her proposal, she’s out. That means she’s either out at the bar or at the library. To her, the bar and the library are one and the same. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like the quiet to study or focus. She hates it, so she probably decided the apartment was too quiet and headed to the bar.
I could have really done with having her here tonight.
I’m still numb, and the shit is going to roll right on into tomorrow because I have to see James first thing. Bright and early at nine. He’ll be doing the first class for the semester before meeting the mentees after for our individual appointments with him. Mine is first, so not only do I have the whole morning with him, but I also have one hour with him all to myself.
Jesus Christ.All I ever do is try to fix things and try to keep going. I was never supposed to see anyone I knew at The Dark Odyssey. And on my first night? Shit, and James of all the fucking people.
I slump down on the sofa and look at his jacket in my bag. I have his jacket. At least it’s a little more than I had the last time we spoke.
I couldn’t be more embarrassed by tonight, but the part of me who was eager to know what it would be like talking to him again is reveling in the fact that I saw him.
There’s no victory in tonight, just shame. And what awaits is more shame.
What should I do now?
If he’s a VIP person at the club, that means he’ll always be there, or be there enough for us to run into each other again. I don’t want to do that. My world outside my studies mustn’t collide with my student life. It can’t, and I can’t have anything to do with him.
Resting my head on the sofa, I allow tiredness to take me. I fall asleep and wake up to the bright sunlight.
The apartment is still quiet, which means I’m still alone.
A quick look in Megan’s unslept in bed confirms I am, which means she spent the night with a guy.
I sigh and shake my head.
It’s seven, so I shower, get ready, and head out praying I don’t fade away when I see James.
I head straight to the lecture hall and go inside as the doors are open. James is by his desk talking to Amanda and Patricia. They’ve loved him since first year. We didn’t start having classes with him until our second year, but he’s the kind of guy you wouldn’t miss because of that.
He looks at me when I walk in.
I don’t say anything. And I don’t look at him either. I just take a seat at the back and open up one of my textbooks.
The rest of the students come in, filling up the hall, and the session begins.
“Morning, everyone, welcome to your first Company Law class. I’m Professor James Marchesi. Please call me James,” he begins.
I stare at him, but while I’m looking, I make myself not see him. It’s like advanced zoning out.
“This year is the year that counts, so I expect a lot from you. If you’ve had a class with me before, you know how I work.” He glances at me when he says that, and I harden my gaze.
He starts talking about the syllabus, and I listen, taking notes. I’m on complete autopilot, listening and writing, making sure I don’t miss anything, but really, I’m anxious. I get more anxious as the time passes and it’s time for him to see me by myself.
Everyone leaves us, and the minute they do, he drops the professor act. He looks the way he did last night. Like a guy you could have just run into at the park, or if you’re me… at a sex club.
He walks over to me, grabs one of the spare chairs, and sits on it backwards.
He sighs and looks at me, seeming to contemplate what he wants to say.
“I forgot your jacket. I’ll bring it tomorrow,” I begin, breaking the silence.
“Keep it,” he answers. “Paige, you can’t work at The Dark Odyssey.”