Ms. Hiring,
I’m glad to hear you’re not sharing them on behalf of the poor souls who were much less discrete than myself. You told me not to worry, and now I’m only more vexed. What the hell are you doing with them?
I think too highly of myself, and of you, to persuade you on whether you’re interested in what I offer. Helping you pick up a menagerie of dicks off the library floor didn’t make me think less of you, and your desires are your own to decide. Tit for tat, Miss Tits and Ass, what gives with the pictures?
-Maybe an Applicant
My body responded to the challenge implicit in his tone before my mind did, but they were both equally tantalized by the prospect of being tested. The sensation was new for me, and utterly thrilling. I wasn’t the type of person people tried to compete against, I was never anyone’s rival. Not because they thought highly of me or my skills, but rather no one considered me worthy of the effort.
I felt myself rising to the occasion. He made me want to be better, to be more, and that thought alone terrified me. How different could my life have been if someone believed in me?
I thought of the little girl always sitting on the sidelines. The teen and woman that came after her were comfortable there too. Perhaps I spent too long letting the opinions of others cloud my judgment of myself. For as long as I could remember, I’d let other people’s whims outweigh my own until I was too quiet and unobtrusive to bother anyone. When would it be my time to have the things I wanted?
Quiet and out of the way was the safest option when I was a child, and throughout my schooling, I accepted and cultivated that camouflage. The few friends I had were superficial and faded easily enough. The only person I ever relied on was my ex, Sam, and he abandoned me like my father, and my mother, in her own unique way. What if my fear prevented me from having better, more lasting relationships?
I wasn’t a child anymore, and years passed since anyone had the opportunity to truly hurt me. This man surprised me, turned me on, and made me question things about myself. I needed to read more of his quick wit and find out if I made him feel half of what he did for me. I laughed as I reread his words, and the mission I’d been toying with cemented itself. Despite my fears, I would unravel his secrets and go after somethingIwanted.
If you must know, and I’m not sure why you must, I am making a scrapbook, an honest-to-goodness collage of bits and pieces. It’s an homage to the one and only time I said “fuck it” and asked the world for what I wanted with reckless abandon. You’re not in it, by the way.
-Hiring
I hoped he would take the bait. My new friend had an ego, and the idea of how he might defend himselfwhen I prodded at it left me desperate. I thought of Tyler and his sickening narcissism. This gorgeous stranger was nothing like that. He was darker and more controlled. I could see it in the way he held his body, the way he looked at me when I sat beneath him. I would bet money he earned his sense of pride. His reply came a few agonizing minutes later.
I find myself equally torn between a yearning to tease you and to offer you everything you want. In fact, I will mock you and encourage you to ask me for whatever you desire with reckless abandon. Why didn’t I make it into your book, not exciting enough of a response?
-Applicant
A silly grin spread across my face, my hands were already on the keyboard to reply. This man could offer me more excitement than I’d ever known.
Mocking seems to be a natural state of being for you. I won’t take too much offense. Do you mean it? Should I ask you for whatever I want? What should I do if I don’t know what that is? Desires are complicated.
You won’t be in my book because you are the only one I answered. Also, because I wouldn’t need any help to remember you and our unfortunate meetings.
-Hiring
My stomach settled into the right sort of nerves. The nausea that stalked me all day slipped away like a distant memory.Tyler who?I tried to imagine my friend’s face as he read my words. Did I make him laugh as he did me? Did he look them over with that imperious gaze that said he owned the world or did he crack a smile for me?
Maybe you’re easy to tease. I’d prefer you didn’t take any offense at all, but I’ll settle for not much. I want you to demand whatever you wish, just as it comes to you. That’s what I do, and it works quite well for me.
My sage advice is to stop thinking so hard and quit worrying. Your desires probably aren’t half as complicated as you’d like them to be. We’re all people. It’s a remarkable thing when we think or feel something unique. It might surprise you what the world will give to you if you’re willing to ask. Even more, if you’re willing to take it.
I’m flattered that of your many options you chose me to respond to. I imagine you had no shortage of alternate choices. I don’t consider our meetings as unfortunate as you do. You might not agree, but meeting someone as smart, funny, and beautiful as you, is very fortunate albeit strange.
-Applicant
I stared at the screen for a moment, blinking rapidly. My first response was disbelief, but outrage quickly followed. Did he believe the things I wanted could be so simple?I am different.I insisted to myself. I spent myentirelife as an outsider looking in on the rest of the world. Ihadto be different.
I closed my eyes, trying to temper the anger coursing through me. The heat eventually faded and I thought through his words. Was it possible I was just a person like everyone else, and would that be a relief or a disappointment? I read it over again and wondered if he was right.
My identity as a person who never fit in was part of what made me feel unique. Was my loneliness a self-fulfilling prophecy? I had put myself on a pedestal, no not a pedestal, a rickety tower no one could climb, leaving me inaccessible and alone. Maybe, I forced that image on myself because it was the only thing that made me feel special. If I let go of that and didn’t think or worry myself to death, what did I want? The answer was simple; I wanted him.
If you could have me, what would you do with me?
I sent it before I could change my mind. Tingles rushed through me, softening my limbs and making me giddy and weightless. My pussy throbbed with anticipation, overjoyed that I finally voiced my desires to another person. Not just anyone, but him. I couldn’t deny that he was the only person I wanted, his teasing, his hard eyes, and his heat.
My teeth worried my nails as the time stretched on with no response. Was I too forward, and misread the situation? A shower sounded like a better option than sitting there waiting to be rejected. The hot water would thaw my tense muscles and melt the ice forming around my heart. I stripped naked in my living room, shoving my clothes into the hamper.
I stared in the mirror wondering what he could have seen that would make a man like him reach out to me. I climbed into my shower stall, rolling my eyes at myself.Who knows.I scoffed as the hot water immediately set to work, calming me. I spread the soap over my hands, ignoring my loofah as my palms skated over my soft flesh.