Chapter Five
Thesunroseoutsidemy window, casting a golden glow on my sleeping face, and instead of greeting the day with enthusiasm I groaned and tossed my pillow over my head. “Damn sun,” I shouted at the window.Why the fuck haven’t I bought curtains?
I scrubbed my hands against my eyes hoping the events of the night before were simply an awful dream. The more I acclimated to the day the harder it was to wallow in denial. My bed was the only safe place in the entire world, and it took every bit of my strength to leave its warmth and comfort.
I forced my legs to stand, showered quickly, and looked myself over in the mirror. Darkened bags hung under my eyes like I hadn’t slept in days, but really, I just responded poorly to stress. I fought the urge to put makeup on, this look would suit my purposes perfectly. People always asked me if I was sick when I didn’t wear makeup, and for once the insulting assumption would work in my favor.
I hopped on the bus; little nerves flipped around in my stomach. I probably should have called in sick to avoid dealing with people entirely, but I figured if they saw me, and believed I was sick, I could spin a couple of days out of this without having to bring in a doctor’s note. I walked through the door to the office and, right on cue, Sandra came up to me with professional concern on her face. “You don’t look well, Claire.”
“I’m not feeling too great.” I pouted at her, trying to ham it up, while internally rolling my eyes at her assumption. “My stomach is bothering me. I’m going to put in a few hours and go home early if that’s alright with you.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Try to finish the stack I left on your desk and you can leave.” She smiled at me sympathetically, but she didn’t feel bad enough to tell me to go home and not worry about it.
“Thanks,” I went to my little station at the back and dug right into the pile. This wouldn’t take me too long if I focused. As I alphabetized and checked the corresponding paperwork for the applications, I sensed a presence behind me. I turned, findingTyler in a button-down shirt and dark dress pants.
His handsome face and flattering clothing did nothing to temper the disgust twisting my stomach into painful knots. He ran a hand through his brown hair, his eyes drifting over my body with obvious lust. “Since you’re feeling better, come over to my place tonight and we can pick up where we left off.”That’s some good morning.I used all the strength I had not to gag at the insinuation that I would go fuck him after work because he bought me dinner the night before.
“Thanks for the offer, Tyler, but I’m still not better. I’m going to leave here as soon as I finish,” I gave him a little shrug as I gestured to the remaining forms.
“Later this week,” he pressed, leaning toward me with a hint of anger in his eyes.
“I don’t think I’ll be free. My family is coming into town and I’m uncertain how long they’re staying,” I hoped my apologetic expression wouldn’t piss him off further or lead him on. He made me nervous, like walking down the street alone at night.
The fact I was blowing him off clicked, and the faint anger sparking behind his eyes went deathly cold. “Sure, Claire, whatever you say...” he stomped off back toward his office. His gaze bored a hole into me as I worked. A chill constantly raced up and down my spine as I fumbled with the papers. Mercifully, I finished and brought the pile over to Sandy. She flipped through them. “Nice work, Claire, I’ll see you tomorrow. Call in the morning if you’re not feeling better.”
“Okay, thanks, Sandy. Have a good one.” My palms were slick with sweat from the nerves as I left the office. I dropped my time card as I tried to clock out and struggled to pick it up. The whole time I felt as if someone was watching. The sensation of eyes on me made me move faster and clumsier. My hands shook, and I tried to tell myself how silly that was as I looked around and saw no one.
I took the bus home as usual. The crowd was a lot different than the end of work commute I was accustomed to, mostly moms riding with small children. This route went past the library and there were programs there for kids during the day. The people sitting around me ignored me as thoroughly as I ignored them, and I started to relax a bit. The only eyes I felt on me belonged to a toddler, I was safe.
I settled into the hard plastic seat, watching the city pass in a soothing blur. The tension leaving my body made room for an interesting thought; I wasn’t sick and now I had a day off. The proximity to Tyler nauseated me so intensely that I almost forgot I faked my illness.
I hopped off the bus, pleased with my new freedom. The building door stood open and my neighbors milled around. A couple of old men played backgammon on a table right outside the door. It was a beautiful day, and even with the sunshine, the heat wasn’t sweltering.
I let myself into my apartment, satisfied that for once it didn’t require a full body workout. A little bit of mess accumulated, and I picked it up before it had a chance to overwhelm me. I hummed a mindless tune as I washed the dishes, pulled out the trash, and walked the bag down the hall to the shoot.
Leaning back against my freshly wiped counter, I drummed my fingers on the tile. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and flipped through my contacts. The list was a lot shorter than one might expect and the quality of those few connections was lower than I would have liked. All my friendships fizzled out or blew apart for varied reasons. Weeks passed since I last spoke to my mother, but the lack of contact was for the best.
I pulled up my email app and my heartbeat pounded in my ears, deafening me. I had one from a gorgeous stranger I should be forgetting about.Strange Circumstancesgreeted me from the subject line.
I’m certain my emails reached you. The modern age is amazing with these reliable communication methods. With that in mind, I’m not offended you ignored them. You have every right to. Foolishly, I am still waiting for your reply.
-Doer of Jobs
He was right, of course. His emails sat in my inbox tempting me at every turn and making me doubt everything about my self-control. The urge to answer him invaded my thoughts and made my fingers twitch, but I didn’t really consider doing it, not until now anyway.
My date with Tyler made me feel like I had nothing to lose. Unless he was a murderer or something else equally sinister, talking to him couldn’t possibly be worse than the pompous ass I’d given a date to. My relationship with him thus far had been one humiliation after another. What was one more? Why did someone like Tyler deserve a chance, but he didn’t?
Dear Doer of Jobs,
I won’t be posting any of the pictures or emails in a public forum. You never had anything to worry about since you never sent me the goods. My extracurriculars should be no cause for your concern.
Regarding the email you sent after I gracefully landed on my ass in a compilation of penises (thank you for the compliments, by the way), I honestly cannot tell you if I intend to follow through or not. Can you help convince me?
-Maybe Hiring
I pressed send and went to my little kitchen to make myself something to eat. I rummaged around remembering I hadn’t eaten all day and even though I should be ravenous, nothing inspired me. I settled on toast as it would help with the turmoil pitching in my stomach. The situation with Tyler was far from resolved and the cold look in his eyes spoke volumes. I pushed the lever down on the toaster as I questioned my sanity for even thinking of talking to another guy.
The logic that made so much sense only minutes ago sounded absurd. I should be swearing all of them off. The ping of my email notification forcefully shoved all thoughts of food out of my mind. The knife hovered in midair and I nearly forgot to drop it before racing back to the screen. ”A pleasant surprise,” greeted me from the subject line.