“If you’re not aware when Glitch takes over, what the heck goes through your mind when you find yourself back in the driver’s seat, and you’re someplace you have no idea how you arrived at?”
“Good question. It used to be bad. Real bad. I’d wake up in a strange bed with no idea how I got there, or worse, find my hands bruised and bloody and no memory of who I hit. I freaked out, thinking the worst. I’d be watching the news every day and night, searching for something, anything. Until one day, I came around in the middle of a boxing ring. Needless to say, I got my ass kicked. But mentally, it eased the strain, knowing that’s where I was going to get bloody and not by beating some poor person I couldn’t remember.”
“Wait, so it’s Glitch that fights? How does that work? Unless…can you switch at will?”
“No. It really doesn’t work like that. Glitch is the one into fighting, but I got so sick of having my ass handed to me that I took it up too, if only for self-preservation. I like it well enough. It keeps me fit and helps channel some of the shit I have going on. But if Glitch stopped fighting, I probably would too.”
“And the doctor said it was okay for you to fight, given the damage caused by the accident?” Blink asks.
“They warned me against it, but I figured I’m already fucked-up. How much worse can it get?”
“I don’t know, maybe death?” I snap.
“We could all die stepping in the ring. You know that, Mal,” he states softly. I want to argue, but I’d be a damn hypocrite. I keep my mouth shut, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.
“I won’t lie and say the thought of you getting hurt doesn’t scare me, but it’s not my call to make. It’s yours, and I wouldn’t like it if you put restrictions on me. I have to ask, though…is that all of it? Because if it is, I don’t understand why you’d think I would walk away.”
He scrubs his hand down his face for a minute. “Not sure how to say this without sounding a little nuts. Glitch and I tend to lean toward different types of women, which made anything more than a few flings near impossible. Not to mention, not all women like the thought of going to bed with one man and waking up with another. You’re different, though, because it seems like Glitch is as into you as I am. I don’t know how that will play out. I won’t lie to you and say it will be smooth sailing. He could lose interest in all this, or it could make him possessive to the extreme. Not necessarily with you guys, but with outsiders, he might deem them a threat.”
“I like Glitch, Graves. I like you both, and I’m willing to figure this all out with my eyes wide open. I’m bound to fuck up. I’m sure we all will, but I don’t want to regret not taking this chance just because I don’t understand all the dynamics yet.”
“If you change your mind—”
“I won’t. But if anything comes up, I will talk to you. I think that’s going to be the key with all of us moving forward.”
“My thoughts haven’t changed. I’m still in,” Vega agrees.
“Me too,” Blink adds.
Law stays quiet, drawing all of our attention as we wait to see where he stands.
“You’ve been alone for a while, huh?”
Graves shrugs. “Once upon a time, maybe, but I haven’t been alone for a long time. Doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely, though. Being lonely and being alone are not quite the same thing now, are they?”
“No, they’re not.” Law stands up and slaps Graves on the shoulder. “I might not have a damn clue what it feels like to walk in your shoes, but I do know what it feels like to be misjudged and isolated because of it. The way I look at it, Blink has Vega. They’ve known each other for years and have a bond that we don’t have yet. Maybe one day, but not yet. Me and you, though, we are still the outsiders. Think I’d rather be outside with you next to me than on my own looking in.”
“We’ve never treated you like an outsider.” Vega stands up.
“Not on purpose, but I still feel very much like the new kid. I’m worried I’ll say or do the wrong thing, and I’ll be booted off the island.”
“Um… am I the island in this analogy?”
Law grins and walks toward me, offering me his hand. I place one of mine in his and let him pull me up, only for the suave bastard to dip me and kiss me like we’re in a movie. And goddamn, if the man doesn’t make me swoon.
By the time he has me back upright, I feel lightheaded.
“Fucking show off,” Vega grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. For some reason, that has us all laughing our asses off. And the guys start teasing and joking with each other as they do.
I catch Graves’s eye and walk toward him. I press my body against his, not leaving an inch of space between us. His large hands slide around my hips and hold me in place as I reach up and cup his jaw.
“I don’t want you to ever feel like you need to be anything more or less than who you are. I’m not making this decision lightly, so please don’t think I am. There is nothing, not one single part of me that wants to walk away. I like you, and I like Glitch. And if more alters appear along the way, I’m sure I’ll like them too, even if it’s not romantically. I can be more than just your girlfriend. I can be whatever you need me to be. You only have to ask.”
“Are you my reward?” he asks quietly after a moment.
“Reward?”
“For not giving up. I wanted to. I wanted to lie down and die so many times that I swear I could taste the dirt of my grave in my mouth. But something always made me hold on just a little tighter. It was a bargain I made with myself. Just hold on a little longer, and it will all be worth it. And if I get to keep you, then maybe, just maybe, it was. I can’t change what happens now any more than I could stop it from happening back then. I just had to survive the chaos. You…you’re the calm. You make everything just stop, and when I’m with you, I can breathe.”
He wipes tears from my cheeks, tears I didn’t realize I was crying.
“Thank you for finding me. I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime for you to arrive.”