Everly
It's beena week since I called Jack a coward. And he responded with silence. Not a fight or an explanation. No words of any kind that let me know that what he was asking for was space or support. Just a text that shoved me aside. I don’t think I’m a needy person, but let's be honest, every person that’s in it with someone, in a real relationship, needs reassurance when there’s chaos. Maybe that’s the answer that I keep trying to avoid. It wasn’t anything other than some great sex and a pinch of intimacy. That and the connection that I’ve been craving. I got what I asked for, something that punched me in the gut, set my world on fire, and it all ended up being nothing more than temporary. Exactly what I originally planned for, and what I didn’t end up wanting. He turned into so much more.
The days have flown by, but at night I’m stuck, practically paralyzed with thoughts of him. How can two people go from being naked and memorizing things that can make a dimple pop to being nothing to one another? That’s the motion that always makes me feel helpless, the everything, and then the nothing. Add in lack of clarity and barely any closure, and it’s a recipe for feeling like total and utter shit. I’m not a fragile woman or one who stares at the past for too long, but I was falling in love with that man. How do you walk away from a fall? I can only assume, from my minimal experience, that you don’t. You keep falling until you hit the ground. I wasn’t done falling, and here I am, already hurt, and I’m not even sure I’ve hit the ground yet.
In a handful of days, I’ve moved along the entire spectrum of feelings from hurt to sadness, right into anger and self-improvement. I function much better when I’m pissed off, and I wish I could stay in that headspace. Anyone from the outside looking in would think that life is running as efficiently as ever. I beast-mode at the gym with Michael two times a day. I chopped my hair shorter, so now it sits right above my shoulders. I even made the final decision that I’m going to relocate to Manhattan for the next few months to get my apparel brand off the ground. I think I decided it right after my father gave his blessing for it, but I put all the pieces in motion this week to make it happen. Find something to focus on and annihilate it. That’s what surviving a fractured heart looks like, right?
I’m wrapping up work at Riggs Outdoor as the vice president, but I’m officially the proud lead designer and owner of my apparel line, Apre´s Eve. I have partners lined up, a marketing plan ready to be executed, and an exclusive deal set already with two big department stores. My first task as soon as I get my real estate underway will be to build a small team that’s motivated and hungry enough to grind away some long hours.
“I have more than enough room for you to stay at my apartment in SoHo, Ev. I’m not going to be there unless you want me to be, so you could consider it yours for now.”
“Jin, I want my own place, but thank you for the offer. There’s a building I’m looking at when I arrive tomorrow morning that I think will be perfect. It’s enough room so I can make it my studio as well. At least until we can find a storefront. And it’s in SoHo.”
“You said we. Does that mean you’re accepting the offer?” He leans back into the counter, watching me work my way around the room.
I stop for a minute and look up at Jin. The man that stirred the pot, tried to mark territory he had no business in claiming, and who set my current course of a career in motion. I’m pissed off at him, and if this was a few days ago, I probably would have called him a lot of names before letting him through the door.
“Everly, if looks could kill, the one you’re giving me should have me drop dead any minute. And before you say anything else, I know I owe you an apology. I knew what I was doing at the event, making it sound like we were an item and then bidding on you. It was shitty to put you in the middle of the mountains of shit I have with Jack.”
I’ve been waiting for that apology since the moment he called and told me he was coming over to discuss his offer. “I’m very good at compartmentalizing when it’s necessary, and with you, it’s necessary because I think what you did was a real asshole move, Jin. That wasn’t being a friend to me. That was being a prick. I’m not ready to forgive you for it, but I am ready to move on. I want your investment, and I want your attention on building my brand, but that’s all. We’re colleagues and there are no more lines to cross, so please remember that. I do not consider you a friend right now. I’ll take you on at the full investment you outlined, but you’re only getting a twenty-five percent share.”
“Everly.” He smiles to cut me off.
“I’m not done. You can take it or leave it. I don’t need the start-up capital and I don’t need your real estate in SoHo, but I do need your eye for building this brand properly. And I need your operations and fulfillment connections to be able to execute the contracts I’ve already signed. If you still want it at half the percentage that you were originally asking, then I'll move forward. If not, then you can leave, Jin.”
He lounges back in his chair and watches me as I fold the last few garment samples into my bag. “You can ask me about him, you know.” I don’t look up. My chest feels heavy even at the mention of him. I don’t know how I feel today, but the thought of hearing his name is already making my eyes blurry. “There’s a lot he’s dealing with right now. Kathryn is away in rehab, so he’s stepping in to be there for Benny. You heard from him?”
“I’m not talking about him with you. But I know what’s going on with Kathryn, and no, I haven’t heard from him.”
He mumbles, “Stupid asshole.” And while I agree, I’m not looking for his support when it comes to anything involving Jack. “He’ll be sticking around here for a while. In Strutt’s.”
I already knew that Jack had planned to stay in Strutt’s Peak for longer than his contract with Rigg’s Outdoor, at least through Christmas, but since his sister’s issues with alcohol came to the surface, I had been so consumed with our relationship that I didn’t think that it meant he’d be in my town long after I left.
“My brother is complicated. You already know at least that much, but for what it's worth, I’m sorry I made a mess of things for you that night, even before the sheriff showed up about Kat. I knew you two were seeing each other, and I’ll be honest, Jack and I don’t mix. We never have, but it was wrong of me to insinuate that we were anything more than friends at that point.”
I zip up the final garment and look around the pool house. With all of my design materials gone, the space looks bare and kind of sad.
“It’s a deal, Everly. At your demands.” He moves to shake my hand and finishes it with a hug. “We’re going to make a lot of money together.”
“Oh, I know.” I smile at him, still not happy with him, but mature enough to move past everything.
The sound of the sliding door opening has me turning. Something had me knowing it was Jack before I saw him. The jaded part of my heart wants me to think that it’s a helpful warning, being able to know whenever he might be near, but the still hopeful part of my heart knows that it’s something more than a warning, maybe a reminder that if we can figure out our way through this, he’s made for me.
Jack raises his voice. “The fuck are you doing here, Jin?”
Jin doesn’t respond, just laughs to himself, shakes his head, and grabs his jacket off the chair as he stands.
I turn to Jin, ignoring Jack’s intrusion. “I’ll call you once I’m settled. We can discuss what comes next from there.”
Jack stands in the doorway in his running gear of gray sweatpants, a black hoodie, and sneakers, taking in the scene. Jin leans into my ear and whispers, “Give him hell, okay?” I smile and watch as he leaves, knocking Jack’s shoulder as he passes him out the door. They say something to each other, but I can’t hear it. I don’t want to. It’s not about Jin anymore.
Jack settles his glare at me. “The fuck was he doing here, Everly?”
“That’show we’re doing this, you asshole?” My body is buzzing with adrenaline. If he wants to start angry, then I’ve got plenty to dish out.Here we go.
“I’ve left you numerous text messages. A voicemail. I even emailed you to make sure you were able to at least deliver the work that you’ve already been paid for, I might add, but you know what I’ve gotten in return? Nothing. No response. Not even a damn emoji, Jack.”
He drags his hands over his face and through his hair, then slamming the door behind him, he stalks toward me. I’m so mad, and a barrage of other emotions that I can’t process. My body is shaking, shivering like a snap of cold just passed through the room. I know he’s going to try to touch me, and I don’t want it. I can’t. I don’t trust that my anger won’t hold steady with him. I’ll make bad choices that I’ll end up hating myself for, so instead of moving away, I hold my ground and put out my hand to stop him.