Dylan
Having to hide from Hazel is the fucking worst.
After our messed-up encounter with Kaitlyn two days ago, Andrew and I decided it was best not to tell her. It’ll only stress her out, and she’s got enough of that in her life. We don’t need to scare her. Besides, Kaitlyn probably won’t even act on anything. She’s only pissed off and jealous.
I need this to blow over. After all of the stupid things Andrew and I have done together, somehow, our threesome with Hazel has gotten us into the deepest trouble. It really sucks. Aside from the day I officially got my pilot's license, our relationship with Hazel is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I look up at the high ceilings in my apartment and sigh. I could give up this apartment for a cheaper one, easily. I’ve done it before, and I can do it again. Hell, I’ll even take a pay cut in my salary, as long as I can keep flying.
Who knows what Kaitlyn could tell her father. It could ruin our promotion and even our entire careers.
Holy shit. This cannot be happening.
I begin questioning if this relationship is even worth it.
My hands are shaking and even though I’m sitting on my couch, I feel like I might somehow fall over, like the very floor beneath me is going to dissolve. I feel like I’m going to barf even though there’s not a whole lot of food in my stomach.
That’s what I need, yeah. Food. I’m probably just hungry, that’s what all this is about.
I shake my head and run to the kitchen. Of course, I haven’t gone grocery shopping in a while, so a quick sandwich and beer will have to do.
I take a deep breath as the ice-cold beer slides down my throat.
That’s better.
Kaitlyn probably won’t even do anything. I bet this is exactly what she wants- to get in our heads and question ourselves so much that we finally cave and sleep with her.
My head is shaking slowly, like I’m responding to a conversation with someone even though my apartment is dead silent. Except for my thoughts, which feel like they have the potential to spiral every five minutes, now.
My beer is gone, and I know I shouldn’t have another one. Instead, I slump over on my couch and go back to staring at the ceiling. I can’t tell if the silence is good for me right now, or if having no distractions is making this all worse.
What if Kaitlyn really does make us choose between our jobs or being with Hazel?
I can’t sleep with Kaitlyn and Andrew. It wouldn’t even be comparable. It wouldn’t be right. There’s something about the three of us that’s like bread, peanut butter, and jelly.
I’ve got to get out of my head. Besides, I need to sleep soon and if I keep going on this track, tomorrow at work is going to be hell. Deep breaths help move my body to my shower. I spin the knobs and melt listening to the soft spout of water droplets hitting the tile.
The bathroom fills up with steam. It feels like a hug when I finally get in, but soon the feeling of the warm water cascading down my body hypnotizes me. I’m back in my thoughts, and I have to admit to myself, for once, that I’m actually really scared.
It’s funny because I can fly a commercial aircraft through pretty much anything without my heart skipping a beat- but Kaitlyn? She fucking scares me.
Storms are predictable in the sense that they don’t have thoughts. We know how pressure rises, how our machines react and how we can navigate those situations, but Kaitlyn- she’s truly unpredictable. I have no way of telling if what she’s threatening to do is true.
What is her intention? Does she want us to break up? Does she want Andrew and I sleeping with her to become a regular thing? Is she doing it because she actually wants us, or because she’s just jealous of Hazel? Even if weweregoing to sleep with her- which we’re not- there’s no way to tell if she would actually stop messing with her.
“Holy shit.”
My voice echoes against the tile above the sounds of water. Splitting my focus for only a minute, I rub soap across my skin and give my mind a rest. I don’t even know who I am right now- this kind of anxiety is so unlike me.
I hate that all evening, I’ve been worrying about whether or not being in our threesome is worth it or if it’s the right thing to do. I just don’t know if I can put being a pilot beneath it. But how am I supposed to choose between potential love and my career that I’ve worked so hard for?
Doing what I do isn’t just a job to me. It’s my passion, it’s my life. I mean, it’s saved me in more ways than I’m even aware of, but then again, so have Andrew and Hazel.
I shake my thoughts away and rinse myself before toweling off and getting into bed.
What do we do? Kaitlyn Burgess, daughter of Michael Burgess, CEO of Burgess Airlines, is blackmailing us.
My phone lights up. It’s a text from Hazel.
“Miss you both so much. Sleep well tonight.”
“Miss you too,” Andrew responds.
Maybe Andrew and I should just tell Hazel. Images of Hazel's face comes into my mind. Images of her brow furrowed, and her mascara smudged from stress. Kaitlyn’s been playing this from all angles.
God.
How thehellam I going to get to sleep tonight?