It feels like it’s been years since I stepped foot in my apartment, even though I was here last night, getting ready for our date- but so much has changed overnight. I find a plain, clean t-shirt and shorts and flop onto my bed.
I kissed a man last night, for the first time ever. Not just any man,Andrew. Andrew fucking James.I’ve never felt anything for a man in my life, but when we kissed…
My stomach twists in happy knots.
Is this wrong? He’s my best friend, he’s my co-pilot. I can’t see him any other way, can I? Does he seemeany other way? He must, I mean, webothagreed last night, and we did it with such minimal prompting. It makes me wonder if he’s ever had feelings like that for me before.
My heart is pounding harder with each passing moment that I think about him.
Why does the idea of Andrew, seeing me that way, make me so happy? Ugh! What the hell is going on? I mean, people can kiss and touch and have sex without having any emotional attachment whatsoever, so why the hell do I feel like there’s something more here?
My dirty clothes are still on my bed, and I roll onto them. A waft of Andrew’s scent blows past me, uncoiling my tightly wound memories of last night. Andrew’s lips were so much softer than I imagined they would be. They felt just as good on my cock.
He hit all the spots I loved and kept hitting them, over and over. I’ve never received head like that, like he knew exactly what my body wanted.
He felt so good in my hands. I wonder if I turned him on and made him hard or if that was all Hazel.
Hazel.
How the hell can one woman be everything? Sexy, cute, innocent,anddirty? She does something to me. She helps me release everything. Is that why I kissed Andrew the way I did?
This is too much.
I’ve never felt any of this before. All I wanted was to have a little bit of fun- I never intended for this to be anything. I knew Andrew and I were playing a dangerous game when we started this, that’s why we have rules.
I need to clear my head and let off some steam.
It feels good to sit up. My weights are tossed lazily in the corner of my bedroom.
That’s it, yeah. I’ll go to the gym. I’m sure I’ll feel much better after a good workout.