Annie
There’s gladwrap over the seats in the toilets and two cows loose in the tennis courts. I’m always surprised at what students get away with on their last day of school.
It’s muck-up day, and all the year twelves have dressed up. Most of the guys have come as footy players and musicians. There’s a lot of eighties-style wigs around the place. Tamsin and I dress as two of the teachers. It was her idea, and a funny one. The teachers are good-humoured about it. I wasn’t planning on dressing up at all, but it’s nice to be part of the fun for once instead of an awkward bystander.
One girl is dressed up as a Jehovah’s Witness. She wears an ugly brown skirt that sits mid-calf and a cream blouse with shoulder pads. I’m not sure what the shoulder pads are about, but the skirt’s on point. Her hair is parted in the middle and pulled tightly back in a bun. She might be getting Jehovah’s Witnesses confused with the Amish. But what ruins the costume for me is that the Bible she’s carrying around is the Old Testament instead of the New Testament.
Rookie mistake.
Of course, Donna learns of this costume and reports her to the principal. It doesn’t bother me. I’m not offended, so I’m not sure why Donna took it upon herself to get involved. She even lectures me about my costume choice and setting a good example for the younger Witnesses who attend the school.
She’s right, but I just don’t have it in me to care. This day isn’t about her or the organisation. It’s a celebration. This is a piece of my life finished, and there’s some sadness around that. Soon Tamsin will move, and I’m sad that we were at school together for thirteen years and have only just become friends. I’m also sad about weird things, like having never been to a blue light disco. If I had my time over, I would sneak out to one. I wouldn’t regret it. I know because I’ve been waiting to regret the time I’ve spent with Hunter, and I don’t. How can I when these past few days have been the most exhilarating of my life?
After school, I head to Maggie’s and work until six before making my way home. Mum is curled up on the couch watching a Jeanette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy movie.
‘How was your last day?’ she asks when I pop my head in to say hi.
‘Fun.’
She studies me, like she’s looking for evidence of un-Christian behaviour. ‘Good. I’m glad. Now you just have a few exams and you’re all done.’ She almost sounds relieved.
‘Yeah.’ There’s that empty feeling in my gut again.
‘Dinner’s in the microwave.’ She looks back at the television. ‘Savoury chops.’
I push off the door frame. ‘Thanks.’
While my dinner is heating, I go to my bedroom and get my psychology textbooks out, preparing for a night of revision.
I’m about to head back to the kitchen when I hear a tap at my window. I turn my head and see Hunter standing outside, looking every bit the bad influence with his hair falling over one eye and his black hoodie tugged up. A smile spreads across my face as I walk over to the window.
He knows Mum’s home, so the window remains closed. We don’t speak, just look. I notice he has this new light in his eyes that wasn’t there a few weeks ago, and I’m hoping like crazy that I’m the reason for it. We both know this is temporary, that we’re stealing moments that don’t belong to us, but neither of us wants to let go before we have to. Maybe he wants to drown alongside me.
I’ve tried to cleanse myself of these feelings, to rationalise them away. I’ve prayed more in the past two weeks than I have in my entire life. I know what a cliché I am. The Jehovah’s Witness girl led astray by desire. It’s wrong. I’m wrong. I can’t even point the finger at Hunter, because he didn’t lure me away from God. I stepped away willingly, dragging the worldly boy down with me.
Not only do I not have a plan, but I don’t even have enough remorse to make one. Easier to wait for him to betray me, tire of me. Break me. Then I’ll come to my senses, retreating with my tail between my legs, having learned my lesson the hardest way possible. I’d be truly remorseful then, returning to Jehovah, to my real life. Then I’ll spend the rest of my days warning young sisters like myself against the dangers of temptation. Until then, I’d quite like to race this boy along the creek, swing with him across the water until I’m dizzy from laughter, and lie in the grass kissing him for hours on end.
‘Tomorrow?’ he mouths.
‘After witnessing,’ I mouth back.
He nods, winks, then jogs off, leaving me with a smile on my face and my heart soaring.