Worse, surely.
I’ve never been with a girl so responsive to my touch, someone who stops breathing with the slightest change of pressure or adjustment of my hand. I’ve also never been in a situation where it was 100 percent about her, and I didn’t mind one bit. Did I have to take care of business when I got home? Sure. But seeing her come for the first time was the reward. And now it’s all I can think about. I’m fifteen again.
But now it’s done. She had her rebellious moment, then likely went home and prayed herself to sleep before coming to her senses. And I’m supposed to pretend I don’t want to back her up against the lockers, slide my hands inside her jeans, and watch the replay. I’d settle for a kiss, a moan, a hand tugging my hair.
As I’m having these thoughts, Annie appears next to my locker. ‘Hey.’
I turn to her, searching for signs of remorse or embarrassment and finding none. Her eyes are pure gold in this light. ‘Hey.’
She makes herself taller, like she’s working up the courage to say something. ‘I was wondering if you’re free after school?’
What is she doing? Why is she pretending that yesterday was the beginning of something when it can only be the end? ‘Why’s that?’
‘I thought you could come over.’ When I don’t reply, she adds, ‘My mum’s working until six.’
‘Why would I come over?’ It might seem harsh, but her pretending we can be anything more than Bible study partners is an arsehole move on her part.
Her cheeks redden. ‘Never mind.’ She starts to turn away.
I catch her arm, a reflex. Everything’s a reflex with her. She looks down at my hand, then up at me. And there’s that look in her eyes—the one from last night. I immediately let go of her before I embarrass myself.
‘Why do you want me to come to your house?’ I ask.
She waits for the girl on the other side of me to close her locker and leave before replying. ‘I have some more things I want to tick off my pre-baptism list. I thought you could help.’
My pulse quickens, which is maddening. Maybe she wants me to introduce her to heavy metal or host a seance. ‘Okay.’
Her lips turn up. ‘Yeah?’
I couldn’t say no to her even if I wanted to. ‘Yeah.’
And so begins the longest afternoon of my life, waiting to be alone with Annie so I can find out what’s next in her crazy rebellion plan.
After school, I go in search of Dad and find him in the hay shed. He’s still working, which is rare nowadays. But I don’t miss the open beer can sitting on the bale by the door.
Clearing my throat, I say, ‘I’m going to Annie’s.’
He drops the bale he’s holding and looks at me. ‘Annie’s? As in Annie Wilson?’
I nod.
‘To her house?’
‘Yeah.’
He rests his hands on his hips. ‘Mate, she’s a nice girl…’
Here it comes.
‘But she’s also a J-dub,’ he finishes.
I draw a long breath. ‘We’re just hanging out, not getting married.’
He looks awkwardly around the shed. ‘Is Dawn home?’
‘Jesus, Dad. I’m letting you know as a courtesy, not asking your permission.’
He nods slowly and reaches for the bale. ‘Just be careful, would you?’