I wrap my other hand around hers. There are things I want to say, but I’m not good at this kind of thing.
Annie watches me with a drugged-up smile. ‘What’s going on in that head of yours?’
I really need to get this out. ‘I’ve missed you too. Every day. And there were some bloody long days.’
‘So long,’ she agrees.
‘I wish I’d told you that before today.’
She’s silent now, watching and listening.
‘I wish I’d told you a lot of things.’ I draw a breath before continuing. ‘Like how I loved you all the way back in high school, when you were going door to door carrying your Bible and wearing those ugly blouses.’
Annie’s smile grows, but she doesn’t say anything.
‘And how I still loved you after I left and when I was waiting for you to leave. I loved you when we were together in Chirnside and for the three years we were apart.’ I pause. ‘I still love you. Never stopped. I mean, I really fucking love you.’ I wait for the tightening in my throat to ease before continuing. ‘And I know if you went away for another three years, nothing would change.’ I search her tear-filled eyes. ‘I need some time to get things in order, and then I’m coming for you, Wilson.’
Light fills her eyes, bringing some life back to them. ‘I have some things to get in order too… like my spleen.’
I rise, pressing my forehead lightly to hers. She smells like medicine and hospital grade bleach.
‘I would’ve waited the five years,’ she whispers. ‘The full sentence.’
She’s killing me.
‘I’m tired,’ she says, blinking.
‘You need to rest.’ When I straighten, I realise she’s holding on to my T-shirt.
‘Don’t leave yet. Can you lie down with me?’
I couldn’t walk away now even if I wanted to. ‘I’ll be right here in the chair. I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You being all the way over there hurts me.’
I’m defenceless against this girl, so I carefully climb onto the bed, making sure I’m not lying on any tubes. She can’t really move much, but she turns her head into my shoulder, closes her eyes, and falls asleep.