CHAPTER 16
∞∞∞
Iwake up to the thought of Celia being locked up. I’ve been tossing and turning all night. The things that happened yesterday haven’t been fully processed by my brain yet. I’m guessing it’ll take time. I force myself to get out of bed, put on some shorts and find a tank and a vest to go along with it. I’m on a mission. I’m going downstairs to get caffeinated and become a real person again. Then, once the motor is running, I can make plans for today. Now that our personal stalker has been taken away, we don’t have to be around each other all the time. So today, I get to be all by myself. Which I’ll have to severely overthink to know how I really feel about that. I find a pair of fluffy socks to put on and I wiggle my toes a little. Fluffy socks are always an upgrade to your day if you ask me. After a quick brush of both my teeth and my hair, I run down the stairs as quickly as I can to get to the coffee.
Walking to the kitchen, I scare myself half to death as I see a figure waiting out back by my door. The fear quickly subsides when I walk over and see it’s Dean, who’s leaning against my door frame with his guitar strapped over his shoulder, looking like a damn vision and I want to jump him. As I unlock the door to let him in, he gives me a smile that makes me wet my panties and I tell my libido to back down a little.
“Good morning,” he says as he makes his way in.
“Hey. What are you doing here?” I ask him, not fully woken up yet and a little confused as to why he’s here.
“I was supposed to be here today, but now that Celia is taken in, I no longer have to. I found myself sitting around, doing nothing, and I realized this is where I wanted to be.”
Be still my heart. And thank the Lord I’m not the only crazy one who suddenly couldn’t stand being alone anymore. His eyes meet mine and I swear there’s a spark there. A spark like in the movies. Like in the great novels when they’re talking about love. But that can’t be it, because neither of us believes in love at this point in our lives. There’s butterflies in my stomach and my heart’s pounding in my throat, unsure if it’s because of the mindfuck I’m currently experiencing or because of actual loving feelings. I choose to ignore what’s obviously going on between us and take a step back, letting him in without reacting to what he’s saying.
“Did you sleep well?” he asks when he sets down his guitar on the table.
“Nope, I spent the whole night tossing and turning.”
“Why? You should be sleeping better now that she’s no longer a threat.”
I shrug as I automatically walk over to the coffee machine and press the button for it to start and warm up.
“I just got used to you guys being around all the time. Before moving back home I’ve never really been alone. So it’s foreign to me. Besides that, I had enough adrenaline in my body to run a marathon after all that went down yesterday.”
“I can sleep here tonight if you’d like that,” he says, his body pressed against my back as I’m putting a coffee cup under the machine. It makes my temperature rise and I press myself back against him.
“Yeah, I would like that,” I answer honestly with a hoarse voice. I don’t know in what capacity he wants to sleep over, but I’m very much okay with both definitions.
Before I know what’s happening, the world spins. He presses his lips against mine and then dips me. He actually dips me. Like they do with dancing. With a huge grin on my face I let out a little yelp as he holds me in his arms, and I’m literally swept off my feet. My focus then shifts to his lips, as he starts to kiss me. Almost greedily, I meet him and give myself over to the passion we share. His kisses turn me on. They’re all it takes.
When I hear the backdoor opening, he pulls me back up. I look up in panic, obviously not over the fear of living with a stalker yet. Jonah looks at us with a wide grin.
“Interrupting something?” he asks as he lets himself in.
“Kind of,” Dean answers and I punch his arm and give him a foul look.
“Don’t worry, Dean will get over himself. What are you doing here?”
“Just wanted to check how you’re feeling.”
He walks over to the kitchen table and seats himself on the edge of it, while he crosses his arms in front of his chest. When he keeps staring at me, I realize he’s waiting for my answer. How am I feeling? Besides being tired and severely aroused by the kiss I just shared with Dean? A little confused over what’s happening between me and Dean and subsequently me and Jonah? I don’t really know how I’m feeling. A little uneasy I guess, somehow still terrified something bad is going to happen because of Celia. Dean has let me go from his embrace in the meantime, the moment being gone.
“A little confused. I don’t really know how I feel. The relief I thought I was going to experience isn’t there. Or just doesn’t have the effect I thought it would have had.”
Jonah pushes himself away from the table and grabs me in a tight embrace as he kisses me on the mouth. What’s happening today? Is it national kiss Morgan day? It’s as if they all got the memo to go from friendly to friends with benefits and forgot to inform me.
“And this!” I say while wildly motioning to the boys with my arms. “This confuses me! What’s going on? Why are we all kissing?”
They both have the audacity to grin. “I like kissing you,” my top-knotted chef says.
Well, yeah, I like kissing them too, but that doesn’t mean this doesn’t confuse me.
“Being around you all the time made me realize I like being around you,” Jonah says. “So why wouldn’t we do that?”
He’s talking about them both. Like, plural. This whole dynamic is weird and a little uncomfortable. Perhaps we should have a conversation about this, but I don’t know how to bring the subject up. To be brutally honest, I don’t know how to function as an adult half of the time, but I’ll fake it until somebody would notice I haven’t gotten a clue as to what I’m doing.
Having real conversations is something I’m bad at though. Or at least I’ve convinced myself I’m bad at it. I don’t know how to go around, randomly kissing multiple boys. I’m the queen of serious relationships and can move in with you a week after meeting you. But how the fuck do I go about juggling multiple boys. We really, really need to have a talk.