“I don’t want you to be alone right now.”
Really, that’s it? I expected something else, something more. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, I want you to be with one of us at all times.”
“I’m okay with that.” I shrug.
He gives me a sideways questioning look, his eyes laser focusing on me, acting as if he doesn’t believe me.“I mean day and night, you get that right, Mor?”
“I do. Listen, O. I don’t know what kind of bad-ass you’ve made me out to be in your head, but I’m scared shitless. There’s a seriously sick lady on the loose who’s obsessed with you and is leaving me knives. Me living alone in this house... It’s the first time I’ve been on my own in... well, I’ve never been on my own before. I’ve always lived at home or with the guy I was seeing at the moment. When I was in college, I didn’t sleep in my own dorm but moved in with my boyfriend. While I love to pretend to live like a hermit every now and then and stay home, I don’t actually like being alone.
Does that mean I want you guys to be over here all the time while endlessly talking to me? Hell no. I’d go crazy and you know it. But if there’s anybody I can have around me all the time, it’ll be you guys. You can sit on my couch and watch tv while I read a book. Or you can do your own stuff while I work. Please, please, be over all the time, because on the inside I’m just a little girl that’s freaking out.”
I didn’t know I had such a monologue in me. I keep talking faster and faster as the word vomit leaves my mouth. O’s still staring at me with eyes that don’t give away his emotion, his mouth in a tight line, letting me ramble as he keeps his thoughts to himself. Gil, on the other hand, is trying to hide his smile behind his hand. And I don’t get that.
“What?” I yelp at him, sounding like a crazed banshee.
“You’re cute when you’re all worked up.”
“Oh, for the love of God. I’m over here giving the speech of a lifetime, opening up to you guys and you think I’m cute? Well! You’re deranged.”
“Let’s hope not. We’ve got enough nutcases on the loose as it is.”
“She’s not a nutcase,” I defend Celia. What. The. Hell. Why am I defending her? My inner turmoil must be noticeable on my face and Gil grins. “Okay,” I rectify myself, “perhaps she’s a nutcase. But it’s not her fault.”
O’s quiet while Gil and I bicker. I end up telling him that he’s not welcome to stay with me this evening.
“I’ll stay here tonight,” O says to my surprise. Out of all the boys he’s the one that’s least interested in spending time with me and keeps the most distance. He’s acting as if he’s the one that’s guilty for the whole situation because Celia’s obsession with him is the thing that made us cross paths. I try to understand him by staring at him, but my intense glare doesn’t suddenly provide any insight at his motives.
“I’ll get some blankets from my parents' bed,” is all I say, because getting answers to the questions I actually want to ask is too scary. I stand up and leave the boys as they are. What a crazy night it’s been. But that’s life, isn’t it? Crazy, unpredictable turns and twists.