Chapter 32
Mary saw Charlotte and the blacksmith from a short distance away. They were standing under the trees that lined the path to the estate, holding hands and remaining close to one another. Even from here, Mary could see that they kept their voices low, speaking sweet words to one another.
Mary didn’t want to break into the midst of them; one of the love stories she had read before was playing out before her very eyes, when the hero and heroine were finally allowed to be with one another. Of course, their own circumstance was far more complicated.
There was a great deal of struggle at play and it could have so easily been undone by the simplest of moments. Mary knew that she had little say in the matter.
It seemed as though Charlotte was at peace—something Mary had never seen before. But Mary knew that she had no choice other than to interrupt the lovers. She could remain at a distance, but they had to be supervised for the sake of propriety and because her father had instructed her to do so.
Mary approached and Charlotte looked at her with a gasp. Mary simply bowed her head low and stood within sight, sitting on a stone bench her father had placed for his evening walks.
But there was no reason for Mary to keep away for long. It appeared that Charlotte and the blacksmith were finishing their conversation and the blacksmith quickly kissed Charlotte’s hand and gave Mary a single nod before he walked away, down the path and towards the main road.
Before Mary could stand and go to Charlotte, her stepsister instead came to sit beside her on the bench. She sunk down with a sigh and stared at her hands. Mary didn’t know what to say, wondering what sort of mood Charlotte might be in and whether or not it was safe to speak up. But Charlotte began the conversation before Mary could even decide to speak.
“I truly am sorry, Mary. I know you have little reason to believe me, but I feel awful for everything that I have put you through,” Charlotte said.
Mary didn’t reply at first. While she did believe Charlotte felt bad, it was still a surprise to hear it. She hadn’t thought Charlotte to be as vindictive as her mother, but Mary still didn’t think Charlotte would ever feel bad or apologise for something like this.
“I have always allowed my mother to hold sway over me,” Charlotte said with a sigh.
“In some ways, it was easier to do whatever she said than to hold myself responsible for my own decisions. If there was something cruel in my heart, I knew that I could simply share with my mother how I had been wronged and she would grant me permission to take my vengeance.”
“Have I wronged you?” Mary asked, wondering if there had been something she’d done and not realised.
“No, not really. Nothing aside from being so much more…good. I believe it was your goodness that I found so difficult because it made me feel like a very wicked girl. I could see all the bad parts of myself and I never wanted that, but it was right there, before my own eyes,” Charlotte said.
“I understand,” Mary replied, thinking it sad that it was her virtue and gentility that made her unlikable to Charlotte. Just as their appearances were vastly different, their character always had been as well.
But when Mary considered the great divide between their mothers, she could understand why it was that she and Charlotte would be so dissimilar. While Mary’s mother had been a kind, considerate woman, Charlotte had been raised by someone with selfish instincts and a great deal of self-determination.
There was nothing about Lady Rachel that Mary could consider to be good or gentle or kind. She simply wanted her own way in all things. And Charlotte seemed to know that at last.
“But when my mother learned that I had been sneaking out to meet with Joseph, she was furious and humiliated. She told me that I could not let you be the better of the two of us. Her solution was for me to marry.
As soon as she realised that I had a dalliance, she feared that I would be in a troublesome situation and she demanded that I marry at once so I would forget Joseph,” Charlotte explained, the emotion heavy in her voice.
“She wanted me to give him up and at first I refused, but she told me how I would be rejected and how it would humiliate us all. She reminded me how she looked after me for so long and also that she married without love on two separate occasions because she wanted to be respectable,” she continued.
“What a troublesome life that creates,” Mary said, shaking her head. She could see clearly how unhappy her stepmother was.
“Indeed. And when she saw Lord Hanbrooke, she set her sights upon him, marking him as the easiest prospect to trick into marriage,” Charlotte explained.
“But how?” Mary asked, offended on Crispin’s behalf.
“She said that his lack of social comfort meant he would not easily find another woman and that if I made it simple for him, he would come to me instead. Of course, I could do very little to impress him, but I tried as hard as I could. I thought that, perhaps, I might be able to convince him that I was the sort of woman he wanted.
Unfortunately, he met you that same evening and it quickly became apparent that he liked you better,” Charlotte explained.
“He was not impressed by me either at first,” Mary admitted.
“But that did not last for long; he loved you almost at once. So my mother told me to do whatever I must to get him. She said that he would turn to me for comfort if I was the one who exposed a secret about you betraying him. I wanted to avoid saying anything against you if I could, so I tried harder to impress him for a very long time,” Charlotte said.
“It must have been very difficult for you to do so, caring so much for your gentleman,” Mary said.
“Indeed, it was. My heart ached every moment. I wanted nothing more than to rush into Joseph’s arms, but I was not given the chance. I even had to sneak him a letter when we were in town one day. We walked past his shop and the window was open as it often is, so I simply dropped it inside. That was how I told him that I had been caught and could see him no longer,” Charlotte said, sighing with the pain of the memory.
“How awful,” Mary said.