“I can’t speak for every single service member, but I know that I try to do what’s right, with good intentions. When you put enough humans in the same place, there are going to be some bad ones. But in my case, I never went out of my way to hurt anyone, I never abused my power like some do.” The look on his face was one of a lost boy. A soldier away from war, but still not at home.
Nothing I could say would match the gravity of what he was saying. A simpleThank you for your servicewouldn’t do.
“And you’re still willing to die for the cause?” I asked.
He lifted our connected hands to his lips. He kissed the back of mine and I closed my eyes. A small comfort.
“Yes,” he said. The word felt like a flame against the back of my hand.
“Please don’t.” I opened my eyes to see him staring through me.
“It’s not like I plan to. But there’s—”
I interrupted him by moving our hands to cover his mouth.
“Let’s keep it at that,” I begged. I couldn’t think about him going anywhere except across the state of Georgia.
“Deal.” He leaned back against the seat. “For now, at least.”
I didn’t want to read too much into his comment. It felt like a warning so it made me pause, but I blocked myself from digging into it. I focused on him. On his warm eyes, his careful and callused hand holding mine. Even inside of the eye of a storm, he could make me feel like I was safely planted. It was all about perception, and mine could have used a dose or two of reality. But instead of searching for the ground, I was floating in the sky with the brightest star of all. My mom’s voice echoed in my head as I leaned over and kissed Kael:The brightest stars burn the fastest, so we must love them while we can.She told me that only once, but all these years later I still remembered it.
I touched his cheek with my free hand, running my fingers over his skin. The soft scar tissue above his eye, but below the fresh cut there, the harshness of his jawline.
“Are you okay,really?” I asked, loading the question this time with extra meaning.
He laughed a breath through his nose and looked straight out of the windshield. “Maybe someday I will be.”
“Let’s go home?” I asked Kael, no longer wanting to pressure him with conversation.
He nodded in agreement, and I hoped he would come in and stay the night of his own accord, without me having to ask. We drove home in the most peaceful silence. My eyes closed again, and by the time we made it to my house I was dreaming of a place where I could keep Kael safe.