Safe. Comforting. That’s what this is to her. Of course. Never mind the early morning grind session that my cock can’t seem to forget about. She’s just scared after a lifetime of sharing a bedroom with others. I get it. “All right. You can stay with me. But pants every time, all right?”
“Pants,” she agrees happily. “Thank you, Mathiras. You won’t regret it.”
Oh, I’m sure I will. But I do have to give Helen something, because if I push her away, next time she’s going to show up in my bed completely naked and determined to seduce. I rub my neck, because I can just imagine how much shit Adiron is going to give me when he hears about this. “Did you sleep well at least?”
Helen gives me a sweet smile. “I did. Better than I have in a long time.”
Me too, oddly enough. Having her squeezed into the tiny bed with me somehow worked in my favor. I feel good and refreshed, whereas yesterday I felt like a tense bundle of nerves ready to explode. But it might not be just Helen. It might be that we’re finally moving forward with this instead of weeks of talking and making plans. “Good. Then I’ll see you at breakfast?”
“Oh, we’re not going to shower first?”
Kef. Kef. Kef. Is she really trying to make this a replica of our time on the mining station together? I was at her side constantly to protect her because she was scared, and that meant listening on the other side of the wall while she showered, walking her to the lavatory when she had to go, and basically being together at all times. It was because it was a creaky old station and we were worried someone might be hiding there that we hadn’t found, or that pirates would return, or that the ceiling would collapse on her. “We don’t need to shower together,” I tell her. “The Little Sister is safe. No one’s going to be hiding on board.”
She bites her lip. “But there could be, couldn’t there?”
Kef.
There’s no winning with her. “Fine. I’ll hang out while you shower—”
“And I’ll do the same for you,” Helen agrees cheerily. “Or we could shower at the same time! We did that on the Star.”
I shake my head. “No showering together. Helen, you can’t volunteer that. I’m a male—”
“I know. I felt it in bed.” Her eyes widen and she nods slowly, as if emphasizing just how much she felt.
My ears get hot. Why is it her innocence manages to still sound so incredibly filthy and alluring? “You don’t go around asking males to shower with you. You’re beautiful and desirable and they would absolutely take advantage of you.”
“But no one else is on this ship but Adiron, and he loves Jade.” She says it so easily, like of course she’s safe because she’s with us. In a way, it just makes me that much more worried about her future. What’s going to happen to Helen once this mission is done? Is she going to live in Port and shower with all the guards simply because they ask her to?
Why does the thought of that make my head feel as if it’s going to explode? Helen needs someone to look after her constantly. Not because she’s a burden, but because she’s so sweet and guileless that people will absolutely take advantage of her. I’ve watched out for her in the past, and I can continue to do so here on the Little Sister, but what happens in the future?
The thought terrifies me.
“I’m just saying in general,” I point out, my voice gruff. I move to the closet and grab two towels out of my personal stash. I keep them in here because Kas and Adi will absolutely misplace every towel on the ship unless I hide some. “Come on. We’ll talk about this more later.”
CHAPTER 21
HELEN
Mathiras sure is grumpy by the time we finish showering. He doesn’t peek at me—not once—even when I make a lot of noise. He sends me off to prepare breakfast after I’m dressed so he can shower. I guess he doesn’t want me watching his back for him. Oh well. I think about what Adi said about surprising Mathiras in the shower, but something tells me that it’s a bad idea today. I’ll save it for another time.
I make myself a bowl of breakfast noodles and drink some night tea, waiting for Mathiras in the empty mess hall. There are wrappers all over one of the tables and a dirty bowl, so I guess Adiron has already eaten his breakfast. I clean up after him because that’s my job here on the Sister since I’m tagging along, and then make another cup of night tea and head to the bridge while I wait for Mathiras.