Alice spits her tea everywhere. “You’re what? You didn’t tell us that part.”
“I didn’t? I could have sworn I did.”
“You mean to tell me you told us—in great detail, I might add—about his piercing and how he likes it rubbed and you didn’t bother to tell us that you two were mated?” Ruth frowns at me as if I’ve somehow betrayed her.
“Is that part important?”
“Is the piercing?” Ruthie chokes.
What a silly question. “Only if I want to get him off. He likes for me to tug on it with my lips and then—”
“Aaaah,” Alice cries, setting down her tea and then covering her ears. “I don’t want another recap!”
CHAPTER 105
HELEN
I’m still thinking about everything Alice and Ruth said when Mathiras comes to retrieve me later. He’s spent a few hours talking with Straik and Kaspar, and he looks tired when he holds his hand out to me, like the weight of the universe is back on his shoulders once more.
I’m not sure I like it.
I squeeze his hand as we return to the Little Sister. “You don’t look happy to have your brother back.”
“I am,” he reassures me, but his gaze is distant. “But with Kaspar and Alice back on board, and with Sterre, too, it presents a host of new problems. Adi’s going to want to bring Jade back, too, and that’s not a problem. The question is, how do we make this ship viable for several babies? We’re corsairs. We’re used to pirating, and the thought of pirating with my brothers and their pregnant mates on board—to say nothing of my own mate—terrifies me a little. So we need to figure some stuff out.”
Oh. He sounds worried. I hate when he stresses over everything. “This means you can’t be pirates anymore?”
“With a qura’aki on board? And two pregnant humans? And a carinoux? We’re going to have so many other corsairs gunning for us that it doesn’t make sense.” He shakes his head. “We need to regroup and rethink. Maybe it’s time to give up on piracy and do something else.” He runs his free hand down his face. “Kef me if I know what.”
I’m stricken with guilt. I’m part of the problem? I hate that. Of course they’d get attacked if I’m with them. I can’t even go on a station without people staring at me. My happiness deflates, because I don’t want to be an issue for Mathiras and his brothers. It seems as if now that we’re no longer hunting slavers, we don’t know what to do with ourselves.
I…guess there’s always Risda. I fight back a shudder at the thought. I don’t want to live in a wide-open place like that. The idea is more than slightly terrifying.
Once we’re back on board, Alice passes us in the hall, carrying an armful of clothing. Kaspar races past, with Sterre at his heels in what looks like a chasing game, and Adiron immediately gets on the intercom. “Please, please tell me we’re going straight to Jerrok’s station,” he says. “Because I need Jade back as of yesterday.”
“That’s where we’re heading second,” Mathiras promises him. “First up is getting Bethiah her ship back.”
There’s a pause. “Yeah, about that.” Bethiah’s voice chimes in. She must be on the bridge with Adiron.
“Oh no,” Matty mutters, his hand tightening on mine. “What now?”
“Did I mention that Ruthann moved over to the Scarlet Gaze but Dora’s staying with me?” Bethiah asks. “Because she’s staying with me. We’re rooming together. I’m keeping her.”
Mathiras’s nostrils flare. “You can’t keep her. She’s not a pet.”
“Oh, I want to be kept,” Dora blurts out, her voice adding to the mix. “Please. I won’t be any trouble.”
He runs a hand down his face and then waves it in the air. “Fine. Kef, I don’t care. As long as you’re willing and no one’s getting abused.”
“Hooray,” Bethiah calls over the comm. “Slumber party in my room. Helen, you’re invited.”
“No, she’s not,” Mathiras growls, sounding terribly possessive. He steers me toward our room before I can respond, practically slapping the panel open.
Aw. I enjoy a slumber party. But Mathiras seems a little unhappy at the moment, so I don’t bring that up. I let the door close behind me and then lean against the wall, watching as Mathiras takes off his boots. “You seem stressed, Matty.”
He heaves a sigh and undoes the auto-fastener on his chest, shaking his head as he turns toward me. “I just have a dozen things I need to figure out now. It’s fine. I’ll work through it all.”
A dozen things sounds like a lot, and he doesn’t seem happy to have the burden. “Should I go? Leave you alone?”
“No.” Matty moves toward me, snagging me around the waist and pulling me against his big body. “You and I need to talk first, actually.”
“We do?”
“We do,” he agrees, his expression grim. “You see, I think the Scarlet Gaze would be better for you.”