And he couldn’t even see that. It didn’t even feel like a lack of love to him. And maybe it wasn’t.
It was a deeply rooted way that he seemed to see his girls versus the way he saw his son. Perhaps the way he saw women versus the way he saw men.
“It was a good thing that you did,” she said, “when you took Dante in from the streets of Rome. You thought he was smart. You sent him to school. If he had been a woman, would you have just tried to make a marriage for him?”
“I know what you’re thinking,” her father said. “That I don’t think you’re smart. I do. I think you’re brilliant, Violet. And I think you’re wonderful with people. Women have a different sort of power in this world. I don’t see the harm in acknowledging that. I don’t see the harm in allowing you to use that in a way that is easier. You can try to compete with men in the business world, but you’ll always be at a disadvantage.”
“I want to be very clear,” Violet said. “I am choosing this. Not for you. Your views are not only antiquated, they’re morally wrong. That you see me as secondary to you, as incapable, is one of the most hurtful things I’ve ever had to face.”
“I’m protecting you. No matter what happens with commerce, you’ll always be a princess once you marry...”
“Javier. I want you to know that I’m choosing to marry him. Because I care about him. I’m not afraid of losing everything, Dad. Not the way that you are.”
“That’s because you don’t know what it’s like to have nothing,” her father said. “I do. I didn’t have anything when I started out. And I built my empire from nothing. You built yours off mine. Easy enough for you to say that you’re not afraid to lose it.”
“Maybe so,” she said. “And I’ve always felt that, you know. That I built this off something that you started. And I suppose you
could say that my marriage here is built off something that you started. But I’m the one that’s choosing this. I’m the one that’s choosing to make all that I can from it.”
“Violet, I know that you’re not happy with me about this, but clearly it worked out for the best.”
She thought of last night. Of the passion that had erupted between her and Javier. Of the way that she felt for him.
It didn’t feel like the best. It felt necessary. It felt real and raw and closer to who she was than anything else ever had. But it wasn’t easy. And it wouldn’t be. Ever. Because Javier wasn’t easy. And she wouldn’t want him to be, not really.
She wished that he might love her.
The strength of their connection was so powerful she had to believe... He was wounded. She knew that. He was scarred by his past.
He would fight against his feelings.
But he had accepted the marriage. He wanted them to choose each other, own each other.
She was certain of nothing, but she trusted that commitment.
She had to hope that someday it could become more.
“It didn’t work out for the best because of you,” Violet said. “You can’t take credit for what I felt. And believe me, the relationship I have with Javier I built.”
She hung up the phone then.
She didn’t know what she was going to do about her relationship with her father going forward. Though living half a world away was certainly helpful.
The kind of distance required for her to get her head on straight. That was for sure.
And now she had to clear her mind. Because tonight there was going to be a dinner with foreign dignitaries. And Javier had told her that in light of the fact he had no people skills, she was going to have to do the heavy lifting for him.
Conviction burned in her chest.
He needed her to be his other half.
And so she would be.
She would choose to be.
Perhaps if she went first, if she forged that path with love, he would be able to find his way into loving her back.
* * *