“I have no fucking clue. It’s like I kiss you and my brain turns into a Hallmark card. Austin will tell you that normally I’m a complete dick.”
“Well, I like it. It’ll be our secret.”
She kisses him once more and then sits back in her seat.
“Did Austin tell you what we were working on?” she asks shyly, picking at a piece of torn denim on her pants.
“He did. Avery, it’s an incredible thing to do for these children. We need a pediatric office badly and you couldn’t have chosen a better location.”
“I just...it isn’t my money and I hate having it. It’s a reminder of all I’ve lost. I work hard and I save, I don’t need it. And using it for something like this is exactly what Declan and his family would have wanted. It feels like I can let his memory live on in that building.” She takes a deep breath and looks at Logan expectantly as if she thinks her next words will change him. “Logan, there are twenty million dollars in my bank account that I don’t want. It will most likely grow once I meet with a lawyer again about my grandmother’s will.”
“I don’t care about that, Avery. I make decent money on my own. I think it’s admirable what you’re doing. You could also look to work with some charities and maybe instead of selling your grandmother’s home you could donate it to the historical society. You said it’s been in your family for generations.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. It’s a great idea. So are we okay?”
“I think so. And I’ve missed you this week. I can’t wait to sleep with you in my arms.”
She smiles that glorious grin, showcasing her perfectly straight white teeth.
“I can’t wait either. I love you, Logan.”
“I love you too, babe.”
***
LOGAN AND AVERY LEAVE the playground and return to their vehicles, agreeing to meet back at his house. Neither of them has had a chance to eat dinner, so she’s hoping she can make-do with the spaghetti she had finished cooking before Logan surprised her.
This evening truly took her for a spin. Avery wasn’t even upset at Logan’s outburst, she knows what it looked like when he walked in - his girlfriend and the town playboy nestled close over the dining room table. Anyone would have jumped to the same conclusion. But no, Avery couldn’t be upset with Logan for his reaction, she was more distressed that she caused the reaction in the first place; that he mentally placed her with the other liars and cheats in his life.
The pain Avery felt when he demanded she leave was indescribable. It had felt like her body was subjected to every ounce of pain it could tolerate and then increased a notch. When Aria had died, she believed then that she knew torture. The loss of her sister overshadowed the pain Avery had felt when Nick and Declan had passed. Aria was her flesh and blood, her companion. But the agony of believing Avery had lost Logan eclipsed any of the anguish she had previously felt. The heart he had worked so meticulously at piecing back together, bit-by-bit, squeezed tight as if being forced through a sieve.
As she drove from his home, she couldn’t capture any air in her lungs, a full-on panic attack set to take place. Avery wanted to get away as quickly as possible, grab a few things and head somewhere new, somewhere she could pretend to not exist, but she needed to rid herself of the anxiety. Avery tried to take short steady breaths, but nothing worked. She stopped the car, fearing that she would black out from the lack of oxygen and hurt someone else on the road, and then noticed she was at the old school. Avery stumbled out of her car, tripping a few times as she made her way down the concrete path, using the old stone wall for support. As the first swing came into view, Avery sat down and rested her head against the rusted metal of the chain.
Sitting down caused a short jerky movement of the swing, which rocked her into an anxiety-fueled haze. The noises from the outside world surrounded her in a bubble, the pressure of Logan’s declaration weighing down on her. Then she saw them. Mentally, Avery knew the lack of oxygen to her brain was causing her to hallucinate, but in that moment they seemed far more real to her than her own person did. Before her stood Aria, flanked on both sides by Nick and Declan, surrounded by a grayish white mist, not uncommon for a chilled fall night. At their presence, Avery’s heart rate increased and she began gasping for air, the scratchiness of her throat evident as she took each shallow breath.
“Calm down, Avery,” Aria said, her melodic voice floating around Avery, flitting around her ears and hair. The hallucination feeling far more real to Avery than they had in the past. “Take a deep breath; let the air fill your lungs. Let your body feel the coolness of the breath.”
Avery followed her instructions, desperately gasping for air, not even accounting for the fact that her dead sister was in front of her.
“He’s coming,” Nick’s apparition said, but Avery didn’t need him to say it out loud, because she could already feel it.
The hairs on Avery’s arms prickled upwards and the tiny flutters in her stomach that appeared whenever she’s with Logan started their rapid vibrations.
Aria spoke again, this time more passionately than before, “Don’t be scared, Avery. We’ve been watching you, worried that you wouldn’t be able to handle all the loss in your life. But you’re so strong. And now we can move on - he will take care of them, he will take care of you. We love you, Avery; we will always keep our eyes on you.”
Avery continued to take deeper breaths, unable to acknowledge her sister’s spirit as she drifted into the air. A cool breeze wrapped around her body and Avery distinctly recognized the smell of the strawberry shampoo her sister always used. Incapable of speaking, Avery let a single tear drift down her cheek.
“You’re a beautiful person, Avery,” Nick said, “and you have a beautiful heart. You have so much love to give, don’t regret sharing it. You’re going to have a wonderful life.”
And he too followed Aria and melted into the mist. A coldness brushes against Avery’s cheek and the tear faded, its wet path gone as if it had never appeared in the first place.
Declan floated closer to Avery, much closer than the others.
“I don’t have long, I guess we’re sort of used to that,” he joked, chuckling in that deep laugh Avery came to love. “Avery, neither of us was meant to be with you forever, it wasn’t in the plan. But Nick and I are thankful that we got to spend some of our last days wrapped up in your love. You were always meant to end up here - to find your soul mate and to find your father. And he is your soul mate, he’s your other half, you two were created for each other. I have to go now but remember we’re always looking out for you. You’re about to have everything you ever wanted. He’s coming for you now.”
Declan vanished more abruptly than the rest. Avery blinked her eyes, trying to determine if what she saw was real or just a figment of her imagination. She struggled to fill her lungs with more air, the pressure closing in again. Then Avery felt a coolness brush across her mouth, the smell of Declan’s cologne filtering through the air and caressing her nose. As quickly as she imagined it, the smell and touch disappeared, and Avery was again left alone and empty.
A car door slams and Logan finds her as she sat still perched on the swing, looking as though she’s been lost in her own thoughts, the hallucinogenic visions idly slipping from her mind.