The young woman smiles at Cade, flashing Crest-white teeth before sauntering away with her drink in hand. Her blonde hair sways from side to side and Cade stares at the swing of her hips with a hungry look.
“Did you just offer to pay her or fuck her?” I ask, squinting.
He shrugs.
“Who knows? But let’s be honest. Girls like that can smell money from a mile away, and she’ll be back,” he says with a satisfied grin. “You can count on it.” Then, he takes a quick sip of the whiskey cocktail in front of him. “So what are you having, bro? My treat.”
I signal to the bartender. “Whiskey double, on the rocks. His tab.” With that, I turn my attention to Cade. “It’s been a while, bud,” I say. “How’s the single man’s game?”
My friend shrugs, his black hair glinting in the light.
“Meh, it’s getting kind of boring to be honest.” Cade takes another sip of his drink. “The girls all look the same these days.”
I squint. “Really? How so?”
He shrugs.
“It’s this thing called Instagram face, and it’s based on Kim Kardashian. Every woman in NYC wants to look like her, so they get a ton of fillers, Botox, or some shit like that in order to look just like Kim. And the fucked up part? It actually works. I’m dating a bunch of clones.”
“Holy shit,” I drawl. “That sounds fucking awful.”
“It is,” he nods pitifully. “You’d think that the beautiful Black and Asian women would do something different, but no. They also have Instagram face, it’s so fucking crazy.”
I shake my head, thankful that I’m out of the dating scene.
“Goddamn.”
But then Cade perks up.
“But the good part is that I’ve heard all these fillers render the girls infertile, so at least I’m not knocking anyone up by accident,” he pipes cheerfully. “You know, botulinum toxin and all that. So on that note, how’s fatherhood?” he chortles.
I roll my eyes.
“The infertility shit with respect to Botox is just a myth,” I warn. “You better watch out.”
“But neurotoxins are real!” he crows happily. “But seriously, how is being a dad? Tell me about what it’s like on the dark side.”
I have to laugh and shake my head. “Oh man. This shit will run you ragged,” I admit. The bartender returns with my drink and I take a grateful sip. The amber liquid scorches my throat, warming my belly, and I immediately feel better. “The baby is cute though. He looks just like Hannah, except with blond hair.”
Cade nods slowly. “He’s what, five, six months now?”
“A little over six,” I tell him, sounding like a proud papa. After all, I do consider Henry to be my son, and he is the cutest child I’ve ever met.
Cade looks surprised. “Six months, jeez. I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in what—seven months then? Eight?”
I snort. “Trust me, it’s not that surprising. I barely have time to wipe my own ass these days, let alone go out for drinks.”
Cade leans back and howls at the comment. “Now that’s a visual,” he says. “Hey, Ed,” he calls to the bartender. “My friend here is going to need a triple.”
The bartender nods and gets to work making me another drink.
“All jokes aside though,” I muse, “it’s pretty great being a dad. Henry’s a smart kid and he’s really curious about the world. I don’t know how much you know about babies—”
“Absolutely nothing and I intend to keep it that way,” Cade interrupts.
I nod.
“Well, yeah, but this is really cool: so babies just kind of lie there for the first few months, but now Henry can get around and he’s trying to crawl and he looks so ridiculous doing it. His head bobs up and down because it’s literally to heavy for his neck muscles to hold. It’s hysterical.”
Cade just shakes his head.
“Wow, you are a dad,” he marvels. “And just a few months ago I had you out on the town, hooking up with random ladies on the fly.”
I raise an eyebrow at the statement. “I never did random hookups, buddy, that was all you.”
Cade chuckles once more, pleased at the statement. “Yeah, you’re right.”
My second drink appears in front of me and I accept it gratefully. “Thanks, bro. I need this.”
Cade nods. “So how are things with Hannah? Is she recovered from childbirth?”
I consider the question, wondering how much I want to reveal my friend. “Overall, things are amazing,” I begin in a slow tone. “She’s a great mom, and we have a lot of fun.”
I take a long pull of whiskey as Cade nods.
“Yeah, but if things are that great why are you drinking like a fucking fish?” Cade asks. “Seriously, bro. You gotta slow down.”
I shake my head ruefully because we’ve been friends for a long time, and I sometimes forget how well he knows me.