Chapter Twenty-Seven
Sienna
It was one tiny pill,and its primary purpose was to fucking work. There had been so many stories of women getting pregnant even though they had been on the pill for years, and I always called bullshit on those stories, thinking that somewhere, somehow, that woman fucked up. Maybe she didn’t take that tiny little pill as she should. Maybe she skipped a few days. Maybe she forgot about the antibiotics she was taking for a goddamn UTI. Maybe she just fucking lied.
But I could never be convinced that a pregnancy magically happened because one tiny fucker swam like a tadpole on crack during that same month when one rogue little egg decided to tear free and enjoy the ride during ovulation that was never supposed to happen in the first place. There were just too many variables for me to actually believe that every measure that tiny little pill puts in place to prevent pregnancy failed all at once.
Yet, here I was holding in my hand the proof that shit can happen even when every precaution has been taken.
I was pregnant.
Jesus Christ, I was pregnant.
My body grew heavy, and I had to grab ahold of the bathroom sink to keep myself from falling, dropping the pregnancy test onto the floor. A sensation of a million tiny needles pricking my skin made me shudder. My arms felt cold, my skin pale; I could actually see blood slowly leeching back into my veins. My skin had turned to ice, and my stomach felt like it weighed a ton.
This couldn’t be happening.
It just couldn’t.
I knew I had to do something, but I couldn’t think, couldn’t form a single rational thought.
My hand grazed the bathroom counter, and I stumbled backward, falling on my ass and feeling the hard marble bite into my skin. I picked up the test and stared at it, willing that second goddamn line to just disappear.
Nausea rolled over me in sickening waves, and my stomach clenched as it almost violently tried to push out the three bites of cantaloupe I managed to swallow for breakfast. I was sure I cried, vaguely feeling the tears’ moisture on my cheeks, but I was too busy trying not to throw up.
I didn’t know who I was more disgusted with—myself for being so stupid and reckless over a guy who ended up breaking my heart anyway, or him for leaving me and letting the dominoes fall all around me, catapulting me into the biggest clusterfuck of my life.
Tears ran down my face, and I wanted to stop them, but I couldn’t. They fell like tiny weights carrying all my pain, each one striking me with a force that cut through my chest.
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “And you’re not even here. God.” I leaned my head back against the wall, the cold from the marble seeping through my oversized shirt, sending chills down my spine.
There was a loud knock on my bedroom door, and I shot to my feet, wiping the lingering tears from my face. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Silas said from the other side of the door. “Just giving you a ten-minute warning. You better be in there getting dressed and putting on make-up...or whatever the fuck it is you women do.”
“Oh God,” I sighed, dragging myself into my bedroom. “Silas, I’m really not in the mood for a party.”
“And I really don’t give a shit. Ten minutes, Sienna.”
His footsteps echoed down the hall until they disappeared.
The test in my hand weighed a ton as my thoughts spun out of control. Desperation clung to my skin, and I shoved the stick beneath some scarves in my drawer. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to clear my head, but all I could see was the test and the second pink line that continued to taunt me.
I couldn’t do this. I had to get out of here. I had to be somewhere else, or I’d just go mad between these four walls, with the ground beneath my feet threatening to crack wide open.
I scurried around my bedroom, grabbing the first pair of jeans I could find and pulled them on before grabbing a white strapless shirt with a hem that brushed my skin just below my navel.
A glimpse of my reflection in the mirror made me pause, and I turned to the side, placing a palm on my stomach.
How long would it be before I started to show?
When would people start to notice that something was different?
It was such a mindfuck to think that the last few weeks I had nothing but time to lock myself in my room while I missed Noah so much I couldn’t breathe without it hurting. But now? Now time had turned against me, and it would soon run out.
“Sienna!” Silas called, knocking on my door again.
“I’m coming!”