"I like the way it feels when you're eating my pussy," I whisper.
"Fuck yeah," he growls, rocking his hips so his erection nudges my clit again. His lips touch mine in a brief kiss. "There is no shame in this bed. No embarrassment. You say whatever the hell you want to say, ask me for whatever you want."
"Okay." I pause, wetting my lips with the tip of my tongue. "Jax? Please make love to me."
"Say that again."
"Make love to me. Please."
"Fuck," he whispers, touching his forehead to mine again. He rests it there for a moment as if he's feeling a little overwhelmed too. "Dreamed about you saying that every damn day. Kiss me, rabbit."
I eagerly tilt my face up, touching my lips to his. He lets me take the lead this time, lets me explore. I kiss him without reservation, learning him like he's been learning me. He rocks his hips, gliding back and forth through my folds, bumping my clit over and over again.
Only when I'm shaking beneath him does he finally line himself up at my entrance. I'm not sure how you're supposed to feel in a moment like this, but a whole welter of emotions funnels through me. Trepidation, excitement, joy, desire, and awe. They're tangled into a thick knot.
"Hold on to me," Jax says, running his nose along the side of mine. "Bite me, claw me, whatever you need. It's going to hurt like hell, but then it'll feel better, all right?"
I think he's more worried about the pain than I am. I mean, I'm a little nervous about it. I'm not a masochist. But mostly, I'm ready for him to claim me in this final way, to make me his in the way we've both wanted for so damn long. It's taken four years to get us here. I don't want to waste a single second more without belonging to him in every way possible.
He pushes into me. My body resists him for a long moment. Just when I start to think he's too big and is never going to get inside, the head of his cock finally slips in, stretching me. It feels…strange. Good.
"You okay, rabbit?" he asks, gasping.
"Yes."
He exhales a curse and then presses forward again.
My nails lock down on his shoulders as the stretch starts to burn and ache.
"Shh, Jessa," he whispers, pressing his lips to mine. He groans. "Knowing you're in pain while I'm in heaven is killing me. I hate it."
"I'm okay," I say, forcing myself to relax my grip. "Just…do it fast. No. Do it slow." I'm not sure which is better, but Lord, he's barely in me and I already feel like he's splitting me in half. I want to get to the good part now. This part isn't much fun.
"You ready?"
"Don't warn me!"
He lets out an agonized chuckle. "I love you, rabbit."
"Jax!" I cry out as he thrusts forward, ripping through my hymen. I'm not sure if it's just my imagination or if I really do feel it split in half, but it hurts like hell. Even though I don't mean to do it, I bite him, sinking my teeth into the curve where his neck meets his shoulder.
He roars, but I don't think it's from pain.
"Yes," he growls, fighting to stay still even though he's rocking his hips in little pulses like he can't control himself. "Mark me, Jessa. Make sure everyone knows I'm yours. You're so tight. Jesus, baby. I'm never leaving this pussy."
"Jax," I say…moan…cry. I don't know. Pain still flows through me, but so does awe and bliss and a million other things I didn't expect. Like how much I love hearing him say that he wants everyone to know I'm his, or how peaceful I feel with his weight pressing me into the bed while he's inside me. Or how damn happy I am.
"I know, rabbit," he whispers, chasing my lips with his own. He kisses me reverently, gently, sipping at my lips like I'm his favorite drink. His tongue touches mine, drawing it out to play. He drags my bottom lip through his teeth, and then thrusts his tongue into my mouth like he's fucking me with it.
Pleasure sweeps in, pushing pain out. Little by little, my body relaxes beneath his. The burn turns to a dull ache and then to a deeper pleasure. I squirm beneath him, gasping as the pleasure starts to build again.
"There you are," he whispers against my lips. He stays right there, kissing me over and over as he starts to move on top of me, inside of me. He rocks his hips forward, impaling me on his length. And then he slides back, only to push forward again. He circles his hips, grinding against me. Just when I get used to one motion, he changes it, does something else, finds some other part of me I didn't know existed.
I run my hands all over his back and ass, trying to pull him closer. I don't ever want him to stop what he's doing to me, don't ever want to lose the feel of his weight on top of me. I'm stretched and full and perfect. Tears well in my eyes, threatening to spill.
Jax sees them, kisses them away.
"I love you," he whispers. "God, Jessa. I never knew it could be this good."
"Me either." I cling to him, trying to absorb him into me again so he's a permanent, unalterable part of me. "You're so big, Jax. God. I feel you everywhere."
"Jessa," he says, a warning in his voice.
One I don't heed.
"I love feeling you on top of me," I whisper, tipping my head back against the pillow to moan as he yanks my leg up higher around his hip, managing to go deeper. "I love having you inside me. You feel so damn good, Jax."
He growls wordlessly and goes a little harder, a little deeper. I writhe beneath him, moaning his name over and over. I say it louder, letting it burst from my lips. For so long, I've whispered it into the dark. Being able to say it freely, to moan for him and knows he hears me…I can't stop doing it.
"Fuck," he curses when I shout it, and then he really starts to move.
He pounds into me, fucking me hard enough to send me inching up the bed. He catches my nipple in his mouth, biting it as he slams into me again and again. His balls smack against my bottom with every thrust, rebounding off my skin with a smacking sound.
He shifts slightly. His cock drags against my g-spot.
I cry out in stunned pleasure.
"Told you it'd feel better when I was hitting it with my cock," he growls around my breast. He hits that magical spot over and over, homed in on it with frightening accuracy.
An orgasm instantly begins to build inside me.
"Next time, I'll fuck you from behind," he says, leaving a fresh trail of marks across my breasts. They're little red love bites I love seeing so damn much. "See how loud I can make you scream when I'm playing with your little asshole while hitting that spot."