“Oh shit, are you okay?”
I step away from the door, rubbing my back where the knob hit me. “Yeah, sorry. I was…”
I look up and my eyes meet Kyler’s. I can see why Cami finds him attractive; he just doesn’t do it for me. But it’s not Kyler’s good looks that distracted me. I see past him at the open door behind him. My brother’s room. I shake that thought from my head. It’s not my brother’s room anymore; it’s Kyler’s. He lives here. Kyler notices that something has grabbed my attention and follows my eyes to behind him.
“Shit,” he mutters under his breath. Turning back around, he looks at me with sorrow in his eyes. Without having to say anything, he understands why I’m uncomfortable. “Are you okay?”
I nod. I’m afraid that if I open my mouth to say anything, the wrong thing will come out. It’s not that I’m mad that he lives with Zach—really, I’m not. He’s a great guy, and I’m happy Zach has him. It’s just that I miss my brother. Will that pain ever go away? Can I ever be in this apartment and not think of the last time I was here, packing up my brother’s life?
I’m quickly pulled into Kyler’s arms into a big hug. See? How can I not like this guy? He never knew my brother. He barely knows me, but here he is comforting me. I can’t help but allow a stray tear to fall down my cheek. Oh, Cami would be so mad if I messed up the makeup she did.
A throat clearing tears us both apart, and we turn to face Zach standing there, his hair still damp from the shower.
“Now Hails, if I’m not allowed to sleep with your roommate, then you can’t sleep with mine.”
I choke out a laugh as I wipe the tears away.
“Oh shit, are you crying? Ky, what the fuck did you do?”
“Hey, don’t look at me.” Kyler backs up and throws his hands up innocently, then heads to the kitchen while I make my way to the bathroom to clean myself up.
Zach grabs my arm. “Hey, are you okay? What’s going on?”
The color has left his face, and his eyes are full of concern.
“I’m fine, really.” Seeing his jaw tense at my choice of words, I continue. “It’s just that it’s the first time I’ve been here since we…”
I look down at my feet. Just admitting that to him, I’m ready to lose it again.
Zach looks up straight toward Ky’s room. He grips the back of his neck nervously, and his face goes pale. “Shit, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, Hails. I’m an asshole.”
I touch his arm. “No. I mean, yes, you are.” I can’t hold back my laughter, and I look up to him with playful eyes while he is still serious-looking. “But I should have told you that it was weird. You always ask me to be honest, and I should have been.”
Silence overtakes the apartment as I stare at Zach and wait for an answer.
He pulls me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “I just don’t want you to ever keep anything from me, okay? I let my sister do that, and well, look at how it…”
Kyler cuts him off before he can finish that sentence, joining us in the living room. “You know, we can totally cancel tonight, order some food and stay in. Whatever you guys want to do.”
I’m really starting to like Kyler. He came into our lives in the middle of chaos and is a genuinely caring guy.
Zach and I break apart. “No, I want to go out. Zach promised me the full college experience of a party where I’m finally a student.” I wink at him, and he lets out a deep laugh. “Let me just freshen up a little, and I’ll be ready to go.”
Zach nods as I make my way to the bathroom, and he heads toward the kitchen.
After wiping the smeared makeup and fixing my hair a little, I make my way to the kitchen where I find Zach and Kyler waiting with three shot glasses full of a clear liquid in front of them.
Kyler hands me one before picking up his own.
Zach holds his in the air. “To a new year, new lays, and new friendships.”
“Seriously? You’re so disgusting.” I roll my eyes before downing my shot of tequila.
After Ky slams his empty glass on the countertop, he places his hand on my shoulder. “Oh Hails, you have no idea.”
Three months later…
It’s been three hundred and sixty-five days since I lost my best friend. I miss his laugh, his goofy smile…fuck, I even miss the way he looked at my sister. When I lost him, I lost her—it just took six months to lose her physically.