“What do you think?” I asked.
“Of?”
“Castemont.”
She didn’t look up from her work. “I think he loves your mother very much.”
“But what do you think ofhim?” I pressed.
She stopped and folded her hands on the table. “I think he is a very kind man with a very kind heart.” I could tell she had more she wanted to say, but she pursed her lips.
I stayed silent, simply cocking a brow at her.
She sighed through her nose as her eyes looked everywhere but at me. “I told you how I felt about...about Calomyr.” I tensed at the mention of his name, steeling myself against the rush of pain that accompanied it. “And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Petra. I feel the same way about Castemont. Something is off.” I didn’t have the energy to push her on it. I knew, deep down, what she was saying, because I felt it too. “But love…” she continued. “Love overshadows all else. All reasoning, all sense, all logic. I wish it weren’t the case, but you know better than anyone that it’s true.”
I knew that regardless of what Solise had told me about Calomyr, no matter how true, that reason, sense, and logic would not be present. Because even though our time together was short — too short — I think I would have loved him to the ends of the earth. I still did.
I sat back down with the realization that Castemont and my mother shared that same kind of love.
A knock sounded at the door. “Come in!” Solise yelled up from her last few bottles. Lord Castemont pushed the door open, Tyrak in full armor close behind. I hadn’t seen Tyrak in full armor since the day I met Castemont — gloves, a full-face helmet, multiple swords on each hip. He was usually a solid, steady presence in his normal leathers, but his armored form was noticeably imposing in Solise’s small cottage.
“Almost ready?” Castemont asked, his voice light.
“Just about,” she answered. “Everything that’s coming with me is there by the door.”
Tyrak immediately set to work picking up a large crate of even more jars and vials and heading to the front door. Castemont pulled the door open for him and I caught a glimpse of the horse-drawn cart in the street.
Castemont lowered himself into the worn chair opposite mine. I know I looked miserable; my eyes had been swollen and puffy for months, my face gaunt, my shoulders sagging. I managed a slight nod. “I’ll be sure she gets there safely,” he offered, a sympathetic smile on his face.
“Last one,” Solise called to Tyrak as she placed the final crate on the dwindling pile then moved to stand in the doorway to watch him. Each box, bag, and crate that Tyrak took was like a ticking clock, counting down the minutes I had left with Solise.
“Tyrak will formally brief her escorts at the gates, hence the full armor. She’ll be well-guarded throughout the entire journey. I’ve arranged a carriage so she’ll be protected from the elements and any wildlife.” I bristled at the word, thinking once again of the soothsayer’s words. Solise’s journey to the border of Xomma wouldn’t take her through the Onyx Pass, but the rest of the Onyxian Mountains were dangerous nonetheless.
To be honest, I wasn’t thinking about Solise’s journey, selfish as it may be. I was thinking about the loss of yet another person of significant meaning to me, not to death but to circumstances of life. Solise’s sister needed her, so she had to go. But I needed her too.
“Looks like that’s the last of it,” Solise murmured quietly, walking to the small living area.
“I’ll give you two a moment,” Castemont said, bowing his head before ducking out the door.
My lip wobbled and I fought to stop it, but it was no use. Looking into Solise’s deep brown eyes, I saw they too were glistening. We wrapped our arms around each other, both of us losing control of the emotions we’d tried to hold back.
I pulled away, her hands grabbing mine and squeezing. “What am I going to do without you?” I whispered, my cheeks thoroughly wet.
She pushed a strand of hair behind my ears. “You’re going to be just fine, Petra. You are stronger than you think you are.”
Salty disbelief stung my eyes, and I let them flutter closed at the words. “How can I ever thank you for everything you’ve done?”
Her wrinkled face softened into a smile. “You can thank me by continuing to fight,” she offered. “You can thank me by continuing not to break when the world has stretched you to your limit and beat you against the ground. You can thank me byliving,Petra, not just surviving.” My eyes welled again, her words resounding through me and settling in my bones. “You will find happiness again, the happiness that you so rightfully deserve. It’s out there. And when you find it, you can thank me by grabbing hold of it and claiming it as your own. You can thank me by being happy.”
She folded me into her arms again. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Thankyou,” she whispered back. “I didn’t know if I’d find happiness after Novis died.” The mention of her son’s name caused my breath to catch. “Thank you for letting me be a mother again.”
The words settled between us, the realization that we’d both been exactly what the other needed at exactly the right time. Solise righted herself and cleared her throat, straightening her robes. I tried to pull myself together, but I knew any attempt would be futile. She looked at me and nodded, then headed for the door. I followed her onto the street, watching her tiny figure crawl on the back of the cart, legs dangling off the edge. Castemont and Tyrak sat in the seats at the front, Tyrak taking the reins of the two brown horses and snapping them, the horses beginning to move.
Tyrak turned back to look at me, giving a slight nod from behind his helmet as they departed. Solise simply raised a hand, a sorrowful smile on her face as they turned the corner to take her away from me.