“No, I do. We have a contract, and I haven't been sticking to it.”
I raise my hand in a stopping motion. “Don’t. She comes first, above everything else.”
“Why do you care so deeply for her? You only met her once,” he asks with genuine curiosity.
“Because she reminds me of me, or at least the me, I never got to be,” I say, looking out the window, watching Rosie running around and chasing the goat with Neo. His smile is bright as he runs around with her, and it does shit to my insides. Fuck. I told myself that these guys were in my past, but that crazy fucker in the backyard is making me feel things that I swore I'd never feel again. I mean, I guess I can hate him a little less, enough to be friends. He is loyal, fun to be around, and a fantastic fuck. And my god, his fucked-up mind is a fucking aphrodisiac to me.
“I don't know how I didn't see it,” he says, his voice filled with pain as he watches Rosie through the window. “She never said anything. She never showed any signs. Well, maybe she did, but we all just missed it. I don't even know what they would have been.” He sounds defeated, then turns to look at me. “How did you know? You took one look at her crying and knew something was wrong.”
I give him a sad smile. “Cass. You know my past,” I say, and fuck does it ever hurt to know that the first person, I spilled my hellish past to, would also be one of the people who crushed me the most.
“Right.” His face looks even more anguished as he looks at me as if he too is thinking about all those past moments between us.
“I knew because I was once her. But you see, no one was there to hear my cries, or if they did, no one cared.” Since the night I was taken by Triver and his men, I’ve stopped hiding my past and instead just owned it. I don't hide shit anymore. I'm an open book. I own my scars. I rose from the deepest pits of hell and climbed my way out, all the way to the top, where I am now untouchable.
“Low,” Cass says with pity.
“Oh, no, no, no,” I laugh. “Nope, not going there. I don't want your pity. But thereissomething you can do for me.”
“What's that?”
“Don’t fight me when it comes to Rosie,” I grin.
“She really can wrap anyone around her little finger with just a smile, can't she?" he says, sounding proud of his little girl.
“Dude, that girl owns my ass. She’s the one and only person who ever will.” I lean in close and, with a wink, whisper, “Just don't tell Evie that.”
Cass chuckles. “Yeah, something tells me shit’s about to get a lot more interesting around here.”
“Hell fucking yeah!” I cheer.
“Bad word!” Rosie shouts from the sliding glass door. I look at her then Cass with a raised brow and a smirk. He's smiling, trying to hold back a laugh.
“When we say a bad word, and Rosie hears, we give her a dollar,” he says with amusement.
“Aaah. Gotcha,” I grin, walking over to Rosie. I don't carry around a purse, but I always stash a few hundreds in my back pockets. Not like anyone’s gonna try and rob me. Pulling one out, I hand it over to her.
Her eyes go wide as she looks over the bill. “Daddy! This one has two zeros after the one!” she shouts and runs over to show her dad. Cass chokes on his drink that he just got out of the fridge.
“Wow. That’s... that’s a lot of money,” he says, looking at me with raised brows.
“Yay! Now I have enough to go get pretty nails with Uncle Neo and Queenie!” she cheers and runs out to show Neo.
“What was all that about?” I giggle.
“She has been earning her own money. She wantspretty nails. Neo’s tried to paint them for her, but she has small hands and yeah, no luck,” Cass laughs.
“Smart girl. I have a feeling she's gonna be richer than you guys. Especially with me and Neo in the same room,” I smirk.
Cass groans. “This is gonna be hell,” he complains.
“Nah, been there. Trust me, this is gonna be more like heaven.”
Cassius
I SIT IN ONE OF THEloungers in the backyard, watching Harlow, Rosie, and Neo cleaning out the pens.
When Harlow saw the baby goat, she squealed like a sorority sister and started fawning all over it. And Susie, who usually hates everyone but Rosie and Neo, ended up loving Harlow just as much. Just what we need, someone else who supports these animals.
Watching Rosie giggle and laugh, acting so carefree with Harlow, warms my heart. Axel’s told me what Harlow said. That she was gonna be in Rosie’s life, whether we liked it or not. At first, I was pissed at her for inserting herself into that role, but as I started to calm down and think more about it, I realized that Harlow is exactly what Rosie needs. A loving, caring mother figure. Hell, Harlow is a stone-cold killer and still, she is a million times better at being a mother than Briana ever was.
Just thinking about her and that vile monster makes me wanna puke. Beating that fucker to a bloody pulp was the best feeling in the world, but it didn't take away the damage that's already been done. I can't help but thank god every day that the sick bastard didn't do more than what he did. I don't know the details of what happened exactly, and I don't think I want to know. All I needed to know was that it was enough for them to die by Queenie’s hands. I had to know one thing though, but thankfully, when I asked Harlow if he had raped her, she told me enough for me to know that he hadn’t gotten that far. Rosie hasn't once asked about where her mother is or when she's coming back for her, and I hope she never does. I could always tell how much she didn't like being with her mother, so I don't think she would be too upset if she never comes back. At least, I hope not.
Harlow may be one scary motherfucker, but it’s in moments like these, when she is carefree and having fun with Rosie, that I can see glimpses of the old Harlow. The one I fell madly in love with. The one I had all my firsts with. My first real kiss, my first girlfriend, my first time having sex. She was my whole world.
I know my cousins craved to have the same with her, but I'm so damn lucky that I’m the one that she chose to be with. I don't know if what she felt for them was the same as what she felt for me, but I know she felt something. I saw the way they made her blush, the way she would steal glances when she thought no one was looking. The way she let the guys get just close enough without seeming too obvious or flirty. Someone might have seen it only as playful and friendly, but it was much more.
Funny thing was, I loved both her and my family so much that I would have shared her with the guys if that was what she wanted. I never told them, though. I wanted to keep her to myself for as long as I possibly could.
Seeing her now, the way she is with Neo, it hurts a little. I crave it; to be able to touch her again, to make love to her, to feel her lips on mine. But even with all that, I’m happy for him; I really am. He’s getting something he's always wanted. Someone just as fucked up in the head as him.
But knowing that I was willing to share her back then and that I still am now, I’m holding on to the hope that someday, I might get a second chance to be with her too.
Now, I just need to find a way to break down her walls again, to earn her trust. She hates men, and knowing what she had to endure all those years, I can understand why. I can't even think about it without wanting to burn the world to the ground. I told her I would always protect her, and I failed in the worst possible way.
She doesn't need me to protect her now. She can do that better than anyone can, but I want a second chance to love her. I’ll wear her down over time. She may not know it yet, but she's mine. Always has been, always will be.
“Daddy, Daddy!” Rosie yells, as she runs over to me.
“What's up, my little Rosie Petal?” I smile as she stops in front of me.
“Can we get a pony?” she asks me with her big blue eyes. Looking behind her, I see Harlow giggling and Neo with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. But fuck if I’m gonna let him get any more large animals. Someone needs to draw the line.
“Who needs a pony when you have a dad?” I say, then crouch down with my back to her. “Hop on,” I say, patting my back. Rosie cheers and climbs on.
I pretend to gallop around the yard as Rosie holds on tight. Her giggling and cheering make looking like an idiot right now worth it.
“Alright! Now, this is something I can get in on,” Harlow cheers, then hops on to Neo’s back. “Giddy up, horsey,” Harlow cheers, bending over slightly to smack Neo on the ass. Neo lets out a groan then a roar of laughter, but does as he's told. By the time we are done, we’re all laughing, and it's nice not to be hurting for just a minute. I almost lost myself for a while, and if it wasn’t for the guys, I wouldn’t have understood how me keeping Rosie locked up inside the house to be safe would only cause her more harm than good in the long run.
Harlow found someone amazing for Rosie to go see, and it's taking a lot for me to admit, but I think I might find someone to talk to as well. I want to be in the best mindset for her, to be able to help her and to be there for her however she may need.
Neo
“PASS THE CRUMPETS PLEASE, Princess Rosie,” I say in a funny British accent. She giggles as she hands me a cookie.
“Would you like more tea, Princess Neo?” she asks.
“I would love some,” I reply.
We’re in Rosie’s room, and Harlow decided to stay until Rosie goes to bed. Something about owing her a bedtime story or something, but I don't care; I would have her here all the time if I could. I can't help but look at that banging body and her constant smile. It's so genuine, it's enough to make a man go blind.
Rosie is dressed up in one of her play dresses, and Harlow and I have on tiaras. Look, you need to understand that I may enjoy smashing skulls and breaking bones, but if this little girl wants me to dress up and play tea party, you better damn fucking believe I’ll do it, and I'll gut anyone who has a problem with it.
Watching Harlow with Rosie warms my damaged, black heart. I’ve seen how she acts around the little family she's made for herself. Most of it is for show. Always on her toes, always alert, but with Rosie, I can tell she's loving every moment of being here, with us. Maybe it’s because she never got to be a child, or she’s like me and just doesn’t give a fuck.
Lately, I’ve been pretty tame. This new me with Harlow, fuck it’s scary, but I love it. I would never ever in a million years be this way for any other woman, but there's just something about Harlow that sucks you in, and you just want to be consumed by her.
I'm in love, and I don't care if she ever loves me back. If what we have right now, me being used as a way for her to get off in her time of need, is all I get, then I'll take it. As long as I get some of her, that's all I care about. The rest is just a bonus.
But I feel him. My monster within. He's itching to come out, god does he ever want to come out and play! That time in the alley, and when Harlow let me play with her, killing those scumbags wasn't enough for him, he wants more. And I'm afraid that once he's unleashed, Harlow will put him down, ending one of the best things I’ve ever had. Maybe her monster will take on mine, and together we can be one fucked up mess. Hell, we're already halfway to a funny farm.
We play a few more games and watch a movie. When Rosie starts to get sleepy, Harlow gets her ready for bed.
“You love her, don't you?” Cass asks me quietly, referring to Harlow. He’s standing next to me by the door as we both watch Harlow, who’s snuggled up with Rosie, reading her a bedtime story.
“You do too,” I point out, not looking away from the only two girls to ever own my heart.
“I’m not gonna give her up,” Cass says. “I plan on getting her back.”
“And I don't plan on letting her go.”
“Then I guess we'll just have to make it work,” Cass says.
“I guess we will,” I say with a smile. I don't mind sharing Harlow. The idea of watching that goddess getting worshiped by my cousins gives me a fucking hard-on. Back when we were younger, I craved for Cass to share her. For her to want us, to want me, as much as she did Cass. But back then wasn't our time. Her beast wasn't yet formed, and mine was still growing by the day. I would have destroyed her without even meaning to if we’d started something back then. But now? Yeah, fuck that shit, she’s mine. We’ve waited a long time for this.
“What about the others?” Cass asks.
I huff out a laugh. “I don't know who those fuckers think they are fooling. Axel may act like he hates Harlow, but he craves her. It might be just her banging body at this point, but it's something. And Dean? Being with Harlow means giving up control. That's his biggest issue, but I know over time she will wear them down. She's Harlow, how can you not want to bow down at her feet and offer her the world?”
“She told Axel she was Rosie's new mom,” Cass chuckles.
“You have a problem with that?” I smirk.
“Not at all. Means I'm already getting one half of something I’ve wanted for a very long fucking time.”
And now we wait. We give her time, wear her down. She puts on a big front, but I know we will break her, but this time we will be there to put her back together.