“Always, Sweet Girl. Mama will always come back. And we can FaceTime every night that I’m away.”
Her face lights up. “Okay!” But then it falls. “But I'm gonna miss you.”
I bite my lip, holding those fucking tears at bay again, and climb over to her side of the bed, snuggling in next to her. “I'm gonna miss you too. Soooooo much. But your Daddy and uncles and even Auntie Evie will keep you so busy, time will fly by.”
I hold Rosie in my arms, playing with her hair until she falls back asleep. Giving her one last kiss on the cheek, I quietly slip out of the house.
Once I'm on the highway, I blastCheck it outby Nicki Minaj and will.i.am, trying to get my mind off all the emotions swimming around in my brain.
This is what I know. I'm changing. As much as I wanted to deny it, since the guys came back into my life, the walls around my heart have been slowly chipped away, but I’ve been too busy, too... happy to notice.
Rosie is a big part of that. This little girl reminded me so much of myself; she won me over with just one look.
I spent years hating the guys for what they did. Thinking they never loved me, never wanted me. When really, it was all one big clusterfuck.
Dean cared about me so much that he was trying to save me from the life their fathers were forcing them into, when really, I ended up in one much worse.
When Dean lost it in his office, I knew he was in anguish about what his actions caused.
These boys, now men, always have ended up being an exception to my rules. I guess nothing’s changed.Well, except Axel, that fucker can go eat a dick.
I don't know what I want to happen, or what will happen with each guy, but I guess that's what this little trip is about. Time for me to think about what I truly want, so that I'm not going into this blind or making myself suffer more, just because I'm too chicken shit to try.
I'm a big, bad, motherfucking bitch, but I'm also human, and it's human nature to have these feelings, no matter how much they suck.
“Have a nice trip, Miss Snow,” the airline worker smiles, handing me back my passport.
You didn't really think I’d have one in my actual name, did you? Nah, until I get back, I'm Ruby Snow.
Walking past the window, I look at the tiny airplane I'm about to board. Excitement takes over me. This is the first time I’ve gone anywhere in the world that wasn't for work.
Catching a glimpse of myself in the windows of the plane, I grin at my reflection. The short, white-blonde wig is a big change from my long, raven-black locks, but it's kind of sexy. Maybe I'll wear it in the dungeon with Neo sometime.
Just thinking about all the yummy things we're gonna do when I get back has me clenching my thighs.Fuck, this is gonna be a long flight.
Neo’s gonna be pissed that I'm gone. Okay, that's nowhere near the proper word for what he's going to be. Something tells me the beast he's been hiding is going to be coming out to play. And as fucked up as this sounds, I'm excited to see him in all his glory. My beast is dying to meet his. Oh, and just think about all the bloody, messed up things we could do together.
I don't know exactly where I'm going to end up on this trip, but I do know how I plan on spending it.
What better way to clear a killer’s mind than a good, old mass murder.
Get ready world, because Queenie wants to play.
––––––––
The end... For now.