“You know you don’t have to pretend with me. I’m your best friend. You look like you’re ready to either burst into tears or throw up whenever Brodix touches you.”
“Is there something wrong with me?”
She squints an eye and makes a weird face. “Well…”
“Ugh.” I push her hand away and move to the sink to get a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My face is beet red.
“I’m kidding. Don’t let him pressure you. If you’re not into him or you aren’t ready, he’ll be cool. I think he really likes you.”
“I think that’s only thing he likes about me is that I’m a challenge.”
“I don’t know. Joseph says he talks about you all the time. Says you make him crazy.”
“Only because I’m the only girl who has told him no, but what if I say no and he dumps me? Who am I going to hangout with? You know I’d be kicked out of the group. He wouldn’t want me hanging around while he’s trying to date other girls and his boys are always going to side with him.”
“Chill. Joseph goes where I do. You’ll always be my best friend. But if you don’t like Brodix then you need to let him go.”
I know she’s right. I’m a chicken shit. We all sit together at lunch. He walks me to every class, and he keeps his books in my locker.
“You could always fake start your period or pretend to get sick.” She shrugs and I shake my head. Though those aren’t terrible ideas.
When we get to Brodix’s house his parents are already gone for the weekend as promised and he hasn’t gotten any less handsy despite my claiming that the pizza upset my stomach. He thinks it’s nerves and yeah part of it is nerves. Do I want to break up with him or do I want to go ahead and get it over with and lose my virginity to this guy and become a total cliché?
Being a girl sucks. Guys can go around sleeping with whoever with no true emotions involved. For them its all physical. For me its different. I want to be in love. I want it to be magical. I want my first time and every time to be with Nav. And no matter what I try to tell myself that’s the true problem. I’m already in love with him.
We’re down in the basement watching movies with Jenny and Javi. Sheena and Joseph went to his little brother’s basketball game but are supposed to show up later. I wish they’d hurry up. Jenny and Javi are going at it hot and heavy. I’m pretty sure he’s finger fucking her under the blanket they’ve got over their laps. I wish they’d go to a bedroom only then I’d be alone with Brodix, and I need them as a buffer.
He knows I’m shy about other people watching so it gives me another excuse to keep from making out with him. But every so often his hand slides under my shirt and inches toward my bra. I don’t know what more I can do besides run to the bathroom and fake throwing up. I should be able to simply tell the guy no, but he thinks I’m teasing him and playing hard to get.
“You’re such a damn cock tease, K. Driving me crazy. Feel.” He grabs my hand and shoves it between his legs.
My hand is practically rubbing against his dick over his jeans. Heat flashes on the back of my neck. “I need a drink,” I announce and hop up to go to the mini fridge on the other side of the room.
“Get me a beer, babe,” he calls out after me.
“Sure.” Maybe I can get him drunk, and he’ll be too sloppy to try and grope me all night.
I grab a bottled water for myself and a can of beer for him.
I take a sip of water and another trying to kill time, but he gets impatient and stalks toward me. “Let’s go to my room. Give them some privacy.” He motions toward the couch where Jenny is totally straddling Javi.
“Um okay, but I promised Sheena I’d wait for her.”
“Joseph knows the alarm code.” He takes the beer I got out for him and leads me up the stairs.
Darn. I’m running out of excuses. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Despite his being a little too touchy feely he’s a pretty good guy. He’s never really pressured me to go farther than I want. Sure, he makes comments about wanting to do more and I didn’t exactly say no when he said tonight he wanted to fuck me.
I go up the second set of stairs as he leads me through the house in the dark.
The minute we get to his room he’s shoving me down on the bed. I scoot back against the headboard trying to put space between us, but he comes down right on top of me. Our teeth clash when he comes in for a kiss. He moves quick, shoving my sweater up over my bra. “Hey, wait,” I mutter against his fast lips.
“Come on, K. Stop being such a tease. I’ve been waiting months to get in your pants. I think you owe me. I made you popular.” His tongue glides down my neck and he goes for the button on my jeans.
“What?” I press my palms to his chest trying to hold him back.
“Come on. Jenny doesn’t even like you and if I tell Joseph you’re out he won’t let Sheena sit with you at lunch.”
“Are you saying if I don’t have sex with you that my friends won’t hangout with me anymore?”
“Stop talking.” He tries to kiss me again and I want to throw up. I lift my knee, hitting him right in the crotch. Not hard enough to do any damage but with enough pressure he grabs his crotch and rolls off me. “You bitch,” he says on a groan.
I slide off the bed and rush down the stairs, going toward what I hope is the back door where I took off my shoes and left my purse. I grab my cell phone and scroll down my contacts as tears roll down my cheeks.
I don’t know who to call. If I call my mom she’s going to be super pissed and ground me for life.