Chapter Twenty-Two
JULIE
I mopped at the blood on my thigh, and the stinging slash on my shin. Oddly, the pain helped with the shock, and embarrassment of being seen in the shower. Of him seeing the marks on my legs. They weren’t for anyone else’s eyes. They weren’t for any eyes at all. They served a purpose, and they would continue to multiply, until I ran out of skin, if that was what it took to quiet the voice for good.
I barely dressed and made it to work in time, reaching my desk in a rush. Once I sat down, I stared at my computer, my mind whirling. What a morning it had been already. We’d gone from blissfully waking together, to heated intensity, and then horror and shame. His face, when he saw the marks, when he saw what a mess I’d made of myself… it haunted me.
“Jesus… are you okay?” Sally asked, her hand dropping on my shoulder, making me jump.
“What? Oh, yeah… I’m fine, why?” I stared at her hand until she took the hint and backed up.
“I spoke to you, like three times, and you were just staring ahead like you were out of it. Is it your head?”
I had no idea what the hell she was on about. Why would it be anything to do with my head?
“What? No. I’m fine. Just running late.”
“You left so abruptly yesterday, that’s all. I wondered if it was still bad.”
Oh. My head. That was what she meant. My lie from yesterday. The first time I’d ever lied to leave work. It wasn’t the sort of thing a decent person did.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I slept most of the afternoon, and it seemed to get rid of it. I’m just going to grab coffee, you want one?” I didn’t normally offer, we all made our own, but I needed her to leave me alone.
I made mine stronger than normal. I needed it to shake me out of this strange daze I was in, so I could try to focus on work. I couldn’t think about what happened with Adam. I’d never wanted him to see my scars. Not until it couldn’t be avoided. Why did he come into the bathroom this morning? What made him sneak in?
I’d left the door unlocked because I’d trusted him, but then, didn’t that make me the fool? I was the one who’d stupidly let a strange man into her home, into her bed… just because I was so attracted to him. It didn’t mean he was automatically a good man. My judgement wasn’t necessarily trustworthy. In any capacity.
“Mrs Davis is looking for you.” Sally suddenly said behind me, startling me enough that I splashed hot coffee over my arm.
“Shit!” I gasped, pushing past her to get to the sink, running cold water over the burn. It had achieved, though, what I’d wanted from the coffee. Just not in the same way. It had sharpened my focus, making me more aware of my surroundings. Why was I in a daze at work? Over a man? Me! That wasn’t me.
“I’m so sorry. I called you from across the office, but you didn’t hear me. Are you sure you’re okay?” Sally fluttered around me, like a pesky fly, who needed to be shooed away.
“I’m fine. It’s okay. Is she in her office?”
She stared at me blankly. “Who?”
“Mrs Davis, dammit.”
Her face cleared. “Oh, yeah… sorry. Uh… you go, and I’ll sort this out.” The girl had clearly had a personality transplant, because a few days ago she wouldn’t have lifted a damn finger to help me.
I walked to Mrs Davis’ office, and tapped on the door, entering when she called me in.
“Ah Julie. Have a seat, please.” Uh oh. I’d never been called in and offered a seat. Was I in trouble?
“Is this about yesterday? I’m so sorry to have to leave like that. I’m much better now.”
She smiled, then glanced at my arm with a frown. My sleeve was still up, and my skin still an angry red.
“What happened?”
I shrugged. “I spilled coffee. It’s okay, I ran it under the cold water.”
She pursed her lips. “Julie, I’ll be honest with you. I’m a little worried about you.” Oh hell, not this from her too.
I tried a smile. “It’s okay. It isn’t a bad burn. Barely hurts.”
She shook her head. “No, love, not that. It’s just… you’re the only member of the team who barely takes any leave. You’re running yourself into the ground. I checked yesterday after you left, and you’ve taken exactly two days of your annual leave this year. We’re almost in December, and you’ve got twenty two days left to use.”