I know what she sees when she looks at me.
Thug, monster, lowlife. Gangster, criminal.
Murderer.
Except she’s wrong about one of those.
I open her door and step into the hall.
I’m not doing this for glory. I’m not doing this for money.
I’m doing this to prove that I’m not a liar.
I didn’t kill Megan, but I think I know who did.
Chapter 4
Daley
My first day at the law firm Wolf Burnstein is a blur. I’m exhausted and on edge, and I keep thinking about Rian lurking somewhere out in the street just waiting for me to get off work so he can tail me back home. Mercifully, he didn’t make himself known on my subway ride up to City Hall and was barely a glimpse in the corner of my eye on my walk down Market Street to my building.
My boss is a nice girl named Jen. Dark hair, good smile. She shows me to my desk, gets me set up with my computer, and gives me a list of extremely simple training tasks to do: set up my email, go through company liability training through the online portal, that sort of stuff. I try to enjoy the easy stuff, because soon I’ll be doing the hard tasks. I’m working in competitive intelligence, which basically means I create reports for lawyers on whatever they want: companies, clients, local governments, that sort of thing. But for now, my day is mindless, and that leaves a lot of room for Rian to muscle his way into my brain.
I wish he wouldn’t. I keep feeling his grasp on my wrist and keep smelling his scent when he pulled me close the night before. I keep seeing that look he gave me when I came out of the bathroom and caught him standing in my apartment, so brazen and hungry and hurt all at once. Like he wanted to strip me naked and fuck me with a primal growl while simultaneously choking me until I screamed.
It’s like he hasn’t changed a bit since we last saw each other, but he’s also a completely different person. I’m having trouble reconciling the two things, and I feel like I have double vision. There’s Rian the boy and Rian the man. But they’re unified in my hate for them both.
When lunch rolls around, I need to get some fresh air. “There’s a diner in the lobby of the building across the street. You should give that a try,” Jen says. I thank her and ride the elevators down with the rush of hungry employees and step out onto the long concrete stairs that lead to street level. The city’s bright and crowded as cars rolls past down on Market below, and I feel like a fish lost in the sea, the city spreading out massive in all directions packed with so many people on every corner, every room, stacked like shipping containers. It’s nothing like back home in Delco, back in the suburbs. But I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Here, I’m just another girl. I’m an anonymous nobody. Back home, I’m the daughter of Chief Halloran, and I hate being that person.
Rian’s there as soon as I’m on the sidewalk, glued to my hip like an unwanted mole. “How’s your first day going?”
“It was going great until right this second. I wonder why.” I hurry with the flow of walkers to the next corner, and Rian keeps pace.
“Getting along well with your coworkers?”
“Rian, please.”
“I’m only making small talk, princess. Can’t kill you to have a conversation.”
“I thought bodyguards were supposed to keep their distance.”
“You’re thinking of something else.”
“Seriously, Rian. I don’t want people to see me talking with you, so can you just?” I glare at him and glance down at his jeans and the tattoos poking out from his shirt. He smiles back innocently, batting his eyelashes like he knows I find them attractive.
“You’re ashamed of me. It breaks my heart.”
“You’re right. I am ashamed of you. Will that make you leave me alone?”
He scratches his cheek when the light changes and we cross to the opposite side. “No, that’s not it. You’re ashamed of the entire family.”
“Okay, yes, does that make you feel better?”
“A little bit, actually.”
“You used to feel the same way, remember? Or maybe you’ve forgotten.”
“I haven’t forgotten.” He says it quietly and I almost don’t hear. He’s staring straight ahead, his face serious, and I suddenly remember the boy he used to be, the boy I had such a deep crush on, a crazy, insatiable crush. The sort of puppy love that sinks its fangs deep and won’t let go.
That’s how I felt about Rian back then. Megan only encouraged me to go for him. Come on, girl. He’s gorgeous and I think he likes you too. I remember her constantly badgering me to talk to him, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was too shy back then, painfully unsure of myself. Always comparing my looks and personality to Megan, and I never walked away ahead.