HARPER
I stareat the ultrasound for probably the fiftieth time since the technician gave it to me at the hospital. The mixture of anxiety and excitement races through my nervous system like it’s my new best friend. It sure seems to feel at home now. I trace my fingers over the white spot on the glossy paper. It’s absolutely crazy to imagine that something this tiny lives inside me.
Ryan’s black car pulls into his garage, and I put the ultrasound back into my purse. With it in hand, I get out of the car and walk about Ryan’s driveway. A shiver runs through me in the breeze, and I wrap my arms around my middle. I should have grabbed something warmer this morning, but I wasn’t thinking straight. The OB-GYN’s on-call nurse’s voice was the only thing in my head. It’s probably better to go to the hospital and get it checked out.
The relief I felt when the doctors told me everything was good was so overwhelming I almost bawled like a baby. Calling Ryan was a total spur-of-the-moment scenario, but I’m glad I did it. It was the right thing to do, for both of us. I really didn’t want to be alone but still wasn’t ready to tell my dad and Sharon. They would have completely freaked out, especially if they’d found out that way.
Ryan’s waiting for me in the garage, both of his hands filled with bags that are about to overflow.
I chuckle at the amount of food that must be in there. “Is your brother here with all of his friends?”
He huffs and lifts the bags. “Just wait until you try the pancakes. They’re addictive, and you can’t ever have enough leftovers. Not with these bad boys.”
I follow him through the garage and a door that leads us into the kitchen. Once he’s placed the bags on the kitchen island, he leans back into the garage to close it. Then he unpacks bag after bag until the whole room smells like a breakfast restaurant. My stomach growls as my senses don’t know what to focus on first.
Ryan points at me and regards me with wide eyes. “Now that you mentioned my brother, I’m getting nervous he might pop by. We should probably get started right away and hide the rest.”
I snort at his serious expression. “Why does it sound like you’re genuinely concerned?”
“Because I am. That kid is like a damn vacuum, either eating everything in his vicinity or packing it up to take back to campus like I’m his personal supermarket.”
I laugh at his legitimate concern. A real, deep belly laugh. I can’t remember the last time I truly laughed like this. Other than the night we spent together, life has been filled with gloominess and anxiety, and I didn’t realize how much I needed this.
My stomach aches, and I clutch it with my hand, trying to focus on my breathing to calm down.
Once I’ve somewhat succeeded, I glance up, and my gaze collides straight with Ryan’s. He’s leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes are filled with amusement, and his mouth is turned into his panty-dropping smile. His smile is so lethal, it should be illegal. That’s how we got into this whole mess to begin with.
“Happiness suits you.”
“I think it suits everyone.”
“Probably. But I’m looking at you, not anyone else.”
“You are.” My voice is barely a whisper.
“You’re beautiful.”
My gaze drops, the intense way he’s staring at me more than I can handle. Others have told me before I’m beautiful, but with Ryan, it hits differently. Exactly like that first night we met. It never feels like he’s saying these things just to say them. They feel like more than just words. They feel like wonder.
Ryan clears his throat. “Sorry if that was too much. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
I shake my head. “No, no, you didn’t. Thank you. It’s just that . . . I don’t know. You and me. Everything that happened.”
“Yeah.”
I wasn’t planning on bringing this up, but I guess now is as good a time as any if we’re already in that corner anyway.
My gaze flits around nervously, landing on him every once in a while. “We weren’t planned, none of this was, obviously, but now we’re here, and I have no idea where we stand.”
My breath catches in my chest when Ryan pushes off the counter and walks around the island to me.
He stands a foot in front of me, and I stare up, overcome once more by his size. My thoughts go back to the way he hugged me earlier at the hospital. It was exactly what I needed, and I almost sobbed from the sheer comfort his embrace brought me. I don’t remember ever feeling this safe in anyone’s arms before. Except maybe my dad’s, but that’s a different kind of safety and comfort.
“I’m honestly not sure either, Harper. All I know is that we made a baby, and I want to be involved as much as I can. And I also want to know you better because I like spending time with you, and you’re the mother of my child. If that’s something you’re interested in.”
At his words, my heart flutters so wildly behind my rib cage I almost go weak in the knees. When I buckled that seat belt on the airplane earlier this week, I was wondering for the millionth time how Ryan would take the news. This is way more than I dreamed of.
Having him on my side, wanting to support me, is everything I could have hoped for.